To The Toph
by Lowland Warrior
Summary: After TDPI, an ambitious Topher strives to reach the very top of the Canadian television/entertainment world, but it's a tough goal to achieve. It's a cold business to get into and even harder to remain in, but Topher is very determined to become a legend by any means necessary. But perhaps Topher doesn't realize that ambition can be a cruel, controlling mistress.
1. Spread My Wings

**To The Toph**

**Lights! 'Several lights fall down from the rig' Camera! 'The camera falls off its tripod' Action! 'Someone gets his hand stuck in the clapper' Well that's a poor way to start a new story! Again!**

**As I said in The 5 Steps To Freedom (Still bearing its stupid title), here's a fic starring Topher! We follow his way full of pitfalls to the top of the Canadian entertainment world and whoever he has to work with to achieve it!**

**For those people who like couples, yes Topher will get a girl (Or a guy?), but I doubt he'll date her/him for the love. There's a clue in the aforementioned story on who it is! Check the final chapter!**

**This sounds really cheap saying this, but even if you don't like Topher, I urge you to read this story, as it sheds a light on a side of his that you're not familiar with!**

**If you like this story, keep in mind that I first want to get the next chapter of Total Drama Vengeance ready before I really begin working on the next chapter!**

**The story will balance between T and super T. This chapter too is rated T because of slightly edgy remarks.**

* * *

**Chapter 1: Spread My Wings**

* * *

Sitting between 2 arguing men, too busy with their discussion that they forgot that I'm still here, but that always happens on this show.

I'm in the studio of a regional channel, I, Topher Fontaine, am the host of 'Grain of Truth', a show where local businessmen can settle their disputes. That sounds like it is something prestigious, but most of the time it just ends up with both parties reaching anything but a solution, and that for the about 53 people who are interested in watching it.

No, I thought my life would take a turn for the better after Total Drama Pahkitew Island, but the producers weren't convinced of my hosting skills. At first I thought that they hadn't been shown enough, so I 'Borrowed' Mom's money and bought a plane ticket to their main office, but all that got me was a restraining order. Luckily (But I really doubt if I can call it that), the TV station in my county, Okanagan County Regional Broadcasting Company, or OCRBC needed a young face with the knowhow. That sounded great back then, but after a few humiliatingly bad commercials for Darwin's Food Safari, I began realizing that cow suits weren't going to be a step up to the national TV studios in Toronto or the Total Drama producer board in Vancouver, far from in fact. But I stayed because I had nothing else, and I kept hoping that 1 day, someone would notice my charms and my charisma. [1]

But 10 years later and I'm still here, Topher Fontaine, 27 years old, stuck on a dead end job that's a laughable rip-off of my biggest wish.

I sigh and wipe my face as I lean back a little more in my couch. I glare into the crowd and they seem just as bored with the conversation between a chicken farmer and the orchard keeper living next to him. I can't remember what it was about, a chicken pen being built on 2 inches of the orchard keeper's land I think. I can't take this anymore, I have to spice this conversation up a little.

''Hubert.'' I say, turning to the keeper and interrupting his rant. ''You shouldn't hold Reed here responsible for building a chicken pen slightly on your land…'' I defended the chicken farmer as I slapped a comforting hand on Reed's shoulder, who of course smiled contently from my support. ''Because if you spend more time with your chicken then with your wife, then you easily disregard parcel laws when you build a love nest for your chicks!'' I suavely told Hubert. There are a lot of small towns in the county, but none of them are close to the redneck type. Of course, Reed was fuming with anger, but the crowd looked a little interested again.

''He got that right!'' Hubert agreed, laughing a bit.

''You mother-'' Reed bellowed before he tried to hit me with a wide swing. The small distance between him and Hubert however resulted in reed hitting the orchard keeper. Hubert, believing that Reed assaulted him instead of me, retaliated by diving towards him and grabbing him by his throat. By now, the crowd was cheering and chanting and the 2 entrepreneurs rummaged over the stage while the few security guards the studio could afford tried to break the 2 up. I leaned back again and sighed happily, causing this riot felt incredibly relieving.

* * *

For obvious reasons, Floyd, the manager of the station summoned me to his office after the broadcast. I took a seat in his cheaply furnished office and laid my arms behind my head, let the lecture begin.

''Toph, you flat-out insulted one of your guests and started a riot that resulted in severe damage to the set.'' Floyd calmly lectured me, sitting behind his desk.

''Can I help it that Reed threw Hebert through the décor?'' I laconically responded. Really, he can't possibly hold ME responsible for it. And even so, it's a poor cheap décor anyway.

''No, but you didn't have to kickstart a riot again Topher! Grain Of Truth is-'' Floyd solemnly began explaining. I sighed miserably, he gives that same speech every time I cause trouble, which has happened a lot the last few weeks. I just can't stand these poor gigs anymore.

''Yeah yeah! Grain Of Truth is a program about local entrepreneurs settling their differences in a calm environment!'' I bitterly interrupted him.

''Exactly! If the viewers want to watch violence, then they watch boxing, or wrestling, or-'' Floyd hesitantly named a few examples. He never was a fan of real entertainment, that's probably why Knitting With Granny Graham has received a 3-hour time slot. Floyd isn't the type that likes violence and sticks with the safe options, and family friendly programming. Not my taste.

''Have you ever noticed that they already watch that?'' I bitterly cut him off again, shooting up and leaning on his desk. ''The viewers want actuality! Sensation! Action! Humor! Any of those, or all of them combined!'' I continued as I walked back a bit and used my arms to emphasize. ''All of which this channel and its programs really lack, that's why we don't get as many viewers and we are heavily in debt!'' I pointed out, pointing at a few bills on Floyd's desk. ''So I spice the stuff up a little to attract attention!'' I sat and leaned back in the chair.

''You're supposed to stick to your role and the topic of the program Topher!'' Floyd sternly told me, pressing his finger on said paper laying on his desk.

''I can't follow these rules and regulations! I need my creative freedom!'' I defended myself.

''If that's so, then we can't afford to have you around anymore!'' Floyd stuttered, nodding his head slightly. After Floyd had said that, the chair broke and I fell on the floor.

''What?'' I stuttered leaning on Floyd's desk again.

''Unless you want to stick to the script, then we can't afford you in this studio anymore.'' He repeated more confidently.

''But if I do then this channel's doomed!''

''Your choice.'' Floyd mumbled.

I stare around the office for a few seconds. It's a tough choice, should I stick with this regional channel or should I leave?

''Goodbye Floyd.'' I greeted him before I walked out of the office before he could react. I've quit my because OCRBC doesn't have anything good to offer my career anymore, it never did, only the opposite. But I don't feel as happy as I should feel with that in mind, as I'm still jobless now.

* * *

I'm driving in my mother's hatchback over the highway as I'm heading home early in the evening. I can't afford a car myself, which is pretty humiliating. My pay is, I mean was too low and I couldn't borrow anything from mommy either, she's a single mom and needs every penny she earns to keep a roof above her and my head, for this reason I can't borrow money from the bank either. If I could buy my own car, I'd buy a grand tourer. Masculine, but still refined looking.

I take the exit and drive into Osoyoos, the town where I had lived my entire life. No wonder that no one ever discovered my talent, I'm living in a place almost no one knows exists, the Canadian desert..[2]

I drive past the police station and wave at the sheriff, Derrick, a dark skinned overweight man. His son Sid and I have been friends since childhood and I get along with him as well. In fact, he's grown to me as a replacement dad a bit, as I don't know who my real father is.

I park the car on the driveway of our house and walk to the front door, glancing over at the grave of Chef, my pet cat as I bow down next to it.

''I wish I'd have given you a nicer name.'' I whispered as I rubbed the dirt in front of the homemade gravestone. After Total Drama, I quit being such a fan of Chris, and that needed time to get used to. After all, I watched everything starring him since I was a kid and afterwards, I pretended to be him. I briefly shudder at that memory as I try to open the door, which is locked. Mommy isn't home yet so I retrieve the key from a flower pot hanging on the wall by lifting up the plant and taking the key hidden under the clump of dirt underneath. I unlocked the door and entered my house. It's a small and a little old 1 story house, but we got to buy a TV satellite and everything works, so I guess that's okay.

I looked into the small mirror hanging by the door and adjusted my forelock a little and rubbed my face. I sighed at my reflection, the stress makes my skin look old, and I am already not the youngest anymore. Maybe watching some TV will make me feel better.

I plumped down on the couch and turned the TV on.

''Coming soon on CCN.'' An announcer said. I usually don't watch the Canada Conservatives Network, but I'm curious what program is coming. ''They have no manners...'' [3]

''You have 10 seconds left to get off that John before I let you stay there!'' An all too familiar female voice squalled. Sugar?! She looked even bigger than I remembered her, and she had fallen even further down the beauty scale too. I leaned forward out of curious horror.

''They have no grace…'' The announcer stated.

''You want me to do my business here on the floor?'' Sugar threateningly asked someone off-screen.

''And they follow up on their parent's mistakes.''

''I'll wipe the floor with those harlots!'' A young girl looking a lot like Sugar told the camera.

''You said it Honey!'' Sugar proudly complimented the girl as Sugar did her hair. Poor girl, Sugar's her mom. That can't be good.

''Behold! Here comes Honey Poo Poo. Coming soon.'' The announcer finished. I stared baffled at the screen as another commercial played. I furiously threw the remote on the couch and crossed my arms. Everyone's getting a show these days. Everyone but me!

After a while I picked up the remote up and began channel surfing until I came across The Late Evening Show, hosted by Clay Lennon, another idol of mine. I leaned forward again out of excitement. Clay Lennon is a gray haired man with a thin face and a small gap between his front teeth and is always dressed in a dark red suit with a matching tie. He is everything I want to be, successful, charming, famous, rich and handsome for his age, but I know that I'm handsome too. And of course, he has his own show! Seeing him is exactly what I need to distract me from today's misery. [4]

Clay is currently interviewing a fairly muscular brown-haired guy in a red and white tracksuit, probably an athlete.

''But Tyler, soccer hasn't always been your prime sport hasn't it?'' Clay asked the athlete. I frown slightly. What a bummer, they're talking about soccer! I don't like sports much but if there's 1 sport I absolutely hate it's soccer! And what's even worse is that the world cup is coming to Canada in 2026, next year. Terrible, even in this remote corner you won't be able to get around it. [5]

Now I remember who he is. Tyler Nixon tried to become professional in many sports years ago, failing humorously each time, they even made a pretty funny show out of it. Eventually, people discovered that he was very good in soccer and went on to play somewhere in Europe, and now he's the captain of the Canadian team.

''No man, I've been in every thinkable sport from football to water polo.'' Tyler responded.

''Your girlfriend must've enjoyed that sport more than you!'' Clay noted.

''Why so?'' Tyler confusedly asked after a second of silence.

''Wouldn't any girl enjoy watching a wet muscular guy in a small skin tight swimsuit wrestling with other men in a pool?'' Clay cheekily asked, to which the female crowd in the studio cheered loudly.

''My girlfriend never came to watch. She kept on forgetting.'' Tyler answered, sulking a bit. This response was met by a sympathetic aww from the crowd. ''But that didn't matter, because we've been happily married for several years now!'' He happily added.

I remember that too, it was widely publicized, they called it 'A golden Total Drama marriage going for gold', But I think that he just married her for the publicity like what happens so often in the bizz. Wow that I recall that, I remember that he was on Total Drama too. I never paid much attention to the contestants, only to Chris and Chef, in hindsight another pretty big mistake.

The door behind me opened and I turned my head to see mommy coming into the room, wrestling with a few grocery bags. My mother is a short, portly woman with the same hair color as me she usually had in a curly hairdo. She currently wore a teal floral shirt and orange pants.

''Evening mom.'' I greeted her as I returned to watching TV.

''Hello Topher.'' She affectionately greeted back as she stumbled towards me and managed to get a hand free and used it to rub my hair, much to my dislike.

''Mom, don't mess up my hair!'' I complained. I spend 30 minutes a morning shaping it, I can't afford another 30 minutes of my precious time to get it back in form!

''Sorry Topher!'' She apologized as she stumbled into the kitchen and began to prepare our dinner while I watched the final moments of The Late Evening Show, called that because it's currently 10 PM in Toronto, where it's broadcasted from, and where I hope to stand someday.

* * *

Mommy and I were eating our dinner in silence, cauliflower stew. Tasty.

''You were home early Topher.'' Mommy noted.

''Yeah I know.'' I casually answered before taking a bite. But then I realized that I had to tell her that I quit. But how? I began to sweat a little. ''I took a leave.'' I added a little nervously, I should really train myself not to come over as nervous, I'd be an embarrassment if this was live TV.

''A leave?'' Mommy replied surprised, looking up from her plate.

''Yeah, a rather long leave of let's say…Permanent length.'' I uncomfortably spat out. She laid her fork down and gazed at me wide agape. ''Have you been fired from the channel?'' She asked.

''No, I quit!'' I corrected her. Though I wasn't far from actually being fired.

''But why? Did they hold back your pay again?'' She asked again. They regularly did that, they are in serious debt after all.

''No I left because-'' I explained before I stopped briefly to dramatically breath in, now I'm going to tell her how I feel about my life. ''Today I finally realized that I have gotten too big for a regional channel like OCRBC. Besides, I have to leave this place as a whole if I ever want to get discovered by big TV scouts! And not even a horribly lost one ends up here in the desert!'' I explained. I got up and walked around the dinner table. ''I wanna go to Toronto! Where every channel is important! I…'' I stopped both talking and walking for emphasis.

''...I have to spread my wings! I just don't wanna waste my life here, where hosting the bingo in the retirement home being the best gig I can get!'' I concluded my plea in a sigh. Mommy just stared a little…I don't know, sad at me. And it made me quite nervous.

She got up from her chair and walked into the kitchen. ''I knew this day would come eventually.'' She dispiritedly sighed. She opened the cupboard under the sink and crawled into it. I heard some tape letting go and mommy came back to the dinner table with a thick envelope.

''Here...'' She said as she handed me the envelope. I accepted it, not knowing how to respond, as I didn't even know what was inside of it.

''What is this?'' I asked.

''A couple thousand dollars.'' She answered while I opened the envelope to indeed find a wad of bills, a lot for this household. Mommy worked in the supermarket and didn't earn that much, how long must she have been saving this?

''But…Why?'' I stuttered.

''You're right Topher. You're too big to stay here. Ever since as a child you wanted to be a big one.'' She answered as she embraced me. as I was pretty tall, she buried her face into my chest. ''Those days that you and Sid played in the backyard only seem like yesterday.'' She sentimentally continued. Sid and I often pretended that we were shooting a TV show. I was the host and he the cameraman, and the crowd, and the grip and pretty much everything else but mainly the cameraman. Until he one day looked up with his camera and swore that he filmed a UFO, since then he's been into aliens and space and such.

''The last 10 years I've saved every penny I could miss for this day.'' She pointed out, on the verge of crying. So she began saving it when I was on Total Drama, at least it has been good for that. I pat her back as I take another glance at the money, it must be over 5000 dollars in there!

''My mommy's too good for me, you know that?'' I told her, which pushed her over the edge and made her cry. Good lady, she bent herself in all directions to give me the boost I need. When I'm gone she can live her life a little better, now that there's soon another mouth less to feed. I still can't believe it's happening, I'm on my way to the top! I should start packing tonight because there's A LOT to pack!

* * *

A few days later, I was waiting on the nearest train station with mommy, Derrick and Sid, about the only people who really cared about me in Osoyoos. Mommy was beyond emotional and embraced me to let Derrick take a few pictures of me with her. I believed some of them were rather embarrassing but I let mommy do her thing, she kind of deserved it. The train that'd take me to the nearest airport arrived and mommy was now bawling as Derrick tried to pry her off of me.

''Well sonny, this is it.'' Derrick said. He always called me sonny.

''Yeah, I guess it is.'' I mumbled slightly emotional, nodding my head a little. Of course I was happy that I was moving forward in life, but I spent my entire life in this county!

''Don't go with strange men Topher!'' Derrick advised me, slapping my shoulder lightly.

''And stay far away from the suits, man!'' Sid added, sounding serious. Oh I forgot that, he's into these weird conspiracy theories too. Sid looked just like his father but instead of being nearly obese, he was pretty thin. In fact, his wide yellow shirt made him look broader than he was.

''Thanks dude.'' I thanked Sid while simultaneously glancing over at Derrick with a easy smile.

''And don't forget…'' Mommy said to me out of the blue as she took my hands and folded them into hers. ''Don't you ever use others as stepping stones! Because if you use others for your own good, then you'll go to hell!'' Mommy kindly warned me, I was taken aback slightly by this grave warning in a kind package.

''Of course I won't.'' I replied. I won't use others for my own good indeed, unless it helps me.

The train blew its horn a few times and I quickly embraced mommy. ''I'll contact you soon!'' I promised her as I quickly hugged her, one last time.

''Promise?'' She answered as she was getting emotional again.

''Promise!'' I called back as I ran into the train before it left. I found a seat at the deck side and waved at my biggest fans until I couldn't see them anymore, after which I sat back in my chair and grinned deliriously (Spooking the man sitting across me a little), I was finally going somewhere with my ambitions!

* * *

**And Boom! Another new story from me rolling off the presses! I'm boiling with inspiration these past few months!**

**[1] Not really a channel and not based on one either.**

**[2] Did you know Canada has a desert? Neither did I until I found out they have! That was a shock! Apparently, this mythical place is in British Columbia.**

**[3] Not a real channel either.**

**[4] Clay Lennon is meant to be a nod to Jay Leno by name, but his appearance is meant to reference David Letterman, as is the latter's show.**

**[5] At least I hope they go there…**

**Ah man! Uploading this feels gooood!**

**Next chapter Topher settles with his new life in Toronto, and comes across a few familiar faces already! Some monstrous, some EVIL!**

**So…Did you like it? Suggestions? Tips? You want some juicy details? Leave a review if you like!**

**Until next time!**

**;:D,**

**L.W.**


	2. Too Great Expectations

**To The Toph**

**What a corny name, isn't it?**

**Karts Of Sugar Rush: Yeah, that's correct, Max and Dakota! It were very transparent clues weren't it?**

**Applause2014: Yeah, nothing against you, but I actually meant how his personality changes from a charming, slightly frustrated and a little self-centered man to an outright narcissist with a bitter temper and selfish goals. I probably should've mentioned that in the former chapter. But thanks anyway!**

**There's truly not much to say today. So without any further ado, here's the next chapter!**

**If you don't like tea, then you're going to have a problem because this chapter still bears the T rating. Fine, after that, here's the chapter!**

* * *

**Chapter 2: Too Great Expectations**

* * *

I stepped out of the main terminal of Billy Bishop airport in Toronto and put down my suitcase to stare bewilderedly at the beautiful cityscape at sunset in the distance. After traveling for 14 hours straight, I was finally here. Toronto, heart of the national television, and in this place, I can become who I want to be!

I hailed a cab and got in. It smelled and it wasn't all that clean, but I couldn't care less right now, I was still in the buzz of finally being here. A few days before I left, I found a nice little apartment in the Rexdale neighborhood I could move into. The add promised 'Easy access' and that it was 'In the middle of the community', which may be pretty helpful for my career. The rent seemed okay and on top of that it was even furnished! They didn't mention much about the surrounding neighborhood, but an apartment is an apartment, I don't expect to be there much anyway, as long as I got a place to sleep that isn't a cardboard box in an alley, it'll do. I told the driver where to go and leaned back as he drove me to my new home.

As the taxi was driving on the highway, I glanced out of the window and spotted a billboard for a power ballad radio station called Emotion 89.5 out of the corner of my eye, bearing the head of a man suavely looking over the highway, holding a rose. This man was apparently a major DJ for the station. It wouldn't have interested me if there wasn't something about this guy, his big chin and orange hair reminded me of someone. Then I finally remember, it's Rodney! He apparently became a DJ for a power ballad radio, that makes sense I guess, he always had a thing for romance, he fell in love easily and got heartbroken even easier. I cross my arms and frown, Rodney's another contestant who surpassed me in life! It's like a cruel joke is played on me to remind me of the nobody I still am! But whoever laughs last laughs the longest isn't it? [1]

* * *

After 45 minutes of traffic jams and having to pick between unhealthy gasoline fumes from the taxi and the polluted air outside, the cab stopped in front of a 3-floor brownstone building that looked a little…decayed. The neighborhood itself wasn't exactly what I hoped it to be, it came over as dull and low-income. How is anyone supposed to find me in here? If I actually wanted to remain unnoticed, then I would've stayed in the desert! This isn't looking good, but where else can I go right now? It's almost dark and this doesn't look like a safe neighborhood. I took my suitcase and approached the front door. I rang the bell that was labeled 'landlord', and a dark skinned man peaked his head through the chink a moment later.

''The hell do you want?'' He gruffly grumbled.

''I replied to your add for the apartment!'' I told the landlord a little shakily, being a little intimidated by him.

''Ah.'' The landlord replied before he opened the door for me and disappeared into his own apartment. The hallway looked a little deteriorated, another sign that I perhaps shouldn't have come here. The landlord returned and handed me a key. ''Apartment 3C.'' He grumbled

''Alright, and where-'' I tried to ask before he abruptly closed the door into my face. The landlord doesn't seem to be a friendly type too, he didn't even tell me where it was! I scoff as I walk over to the stairwell, I look up the spiraling stairs and see that there're about 6 floors in this building, so perhaps apartment 3C is on the 3nd floor. I climbed the old stairs while I held onto the banister, which suddenly broke off after I leaned against it, almost making me fall down. I nervously checked if no one noticed before I quickly scurried away to make sure it stayed that way. I noticed that as I walked through the 3nd floor hallway that a lot of Latin music boomed through the walls, while I don't hate it, I just hope that the walls of my apartment are thick enough to shut it out. Finally I reached apartment 3C, I unlocked the door and breathed in deeply before opening it, what am I going to encounter in my home after all these bad signs? Stray animals? A crime scene? If I had to pick, I hope a crime scene, at least they don't bite or scratch you. I swung the door open and stepped into the apartment.

The interior didn't look like the add at all. Sure it was a 1-room apartment like the add said, but the wallpaper was pretty old, and the wooden floor creaked worse than mommy's scoliosis-riddled back. The furniture didn't look all that great either. I checked the small bathroom with a ominous feeling and it was like 1 of my worst nightmares. The mirror was damaged and the (Miraculously) off-white toilet contained a brown liquid I can't even describe what it looked like, and the smell wasn't any better! I flushed the toilet once but as it turned out, it was clogged. Out of anger, I kicked the bathroom door and stomped towards 1 of only 2 windows to look out to, after I opened the dirty windows and hung out of it, it turned out that the windows looked out on a blind wall on the other end of the alley, this was getting worse with the second! This wasn't the cityscape the advertisement promised! I sat down on the sleeper couch (Which actually sat pretty well) and growled in frustration until I smelled a putrid chemical fume coming from outside. I coughed as I walked back to the window again to see where the fume came from, it turned out to be coming from the apartment right below me. This was it, I stomped to the apartment of the landlord.

''Hey dude, open up!'' I angrily yelled, furiously knocking on his door.

''What?!'' He vexedly shouted while he opened the door.

''Do you think that you can mislead me with an apartment that isn't like the advertisement at all?!'' I angrily asked him. ''The room is in terrible shape, the bathroom is so filthy the tentacles are coming out of the bowl and whoever's in the room below me is making something that smells like it can kill off everything it touches!'' I told him, counting every single thing on my fingers.

''You're calling me a swindler? Come in, kid!'' He urged me. Before i could react he pulled me into his apartment, which was off course in a much better shape, and showed me the website. ''That add was about several apartments, each with their own photos and rental costs, and it clearly states here that not every apartment has the same amenities.'' The landlord explained. I have to admit, I didn't notice that, I thought every apartment was practically the same and I just went for the one with the lowest rent, which landed me in this craphole. So you see, wanting to save money isn't always a good thing.

''And what about being 'In the middle of the community'?'' I suspiciously asked.

''The community center is down the street.'' He quickly answered. Yes, being near the community center IS in the middle of the community, but not what I hope to be.

''And what about that-'' I tried to ask before the building began to shake lightly as a jet flew over at low altitude.

''Toronto Pearson is a few miles from here. That's your 'Easy Access'.'' The landlord flatly pointed out. Great, so every few hours a jet flies over. That works great with those thin apartment walls. Having an airport close by is good, but this close is overkill! What have I gotten myself into?

''And what about that chemist below me? What are you going to do about him huh?'' I asked him perhaps a little too ballsy.

''You're hammering on my door, disturb me during a tense soccer game, call me a swindler and still expect me to do something about him?! Go solve it yourself or scram!'' The landlord barked at me before he threw me out of his home (Landing with my head in the wall) and shut the door. I get up and rub the stucco out of my hair. Why are people so obsessed with soccer lately? What happened to the time that football and ice hockey ruled this country? Now I hate it even more!

I stomp towards the apartment below me and desperately try not to get knocked out by the even stronger fumes stinking up the hallways and knock on the door.

''Hey dude, are you cooking drugs in there or something?!'' I asked very frustrated.

''Am I in a RV? Of course not! Go away!'' A rather nasally sounding male voice called back from the other side of the door. The voice sounded familiar, so I stuck around. [2]

''You sound familiar, do I know you from something?'' I asked, pressing my ear against the door in the hopes of hearing it better.

''Leave me to be! That is an order!'' The guy on the other side ordered me. I'm sure I've heard that voice before and I have to know it! So I began kicking against the door and after a few firm kicks, it swung open and I stepped into the apartment, which looked a little better than mine but was filled with thick smoke, making it hard to see who it belonged to. From the other end of the room, I could hear bubbly noises.

''Are you insane? I'm calling the landlord!'' The guy shrieked before the bubbling noise stopped.

''Don't bother, I just tried too, and he's a little absorbed in his soccer game.'' I replied before a short man approached me through the smoke, which turned out to be another familiar face from Total Drama Pahkitew, Max. He hadn't changed much, except that he, instead of purple hair, now had blond hair, which was apparently his natural hair color. And after seeing this, I can understand why he dyed it purple.

''Topher?'' Max asked a little surprised as the smoke cleared, revealing the apartment to be indeed in better shape, but to be littered with broken electronic devices.

''Me and what's left of me in all my glory.'' I dully answered.

''What an odd way to meet again with you kicking yourself a way into my home.'' Max formally said, folding his arms behind his back. I wonder if he's still into being evil.

''What are you doing here?'' I wondered.

''No one expects an EVIL lair here!'' Max contently wheezed while he shut the door. Yup, he's still into being evil, great, time to get out of here as fast as I can. ''Also, I have massive student loans.'' He meekly added, walking over to 2 degrees hanging on the wall and presenting them to me. 1 degree was for medical chemistry and another for advanced technology. Both certificates were signed as Maximillian D. De Bruyne.

''And what brings you here?'' Max curiously asked me.

''You know, the ambition to make something of myself.'' I casually answered. I spotted a chemistry set in the corner of the room and approached it with a frown. ''What are you doing here?'' I sternly asked him.

''I'm currently trying to create medicines that influence human behavior!'' Max proudly announced. So he IS making drugs, just not the kind I expected.

''And then I have to think about…What?'' I uninterestedly asked.

''You know, evoking emotions like anger, lust and the likes!'' Max explained, flicking against a beaker.

''And you're allowed to do that here?'' I bitterly asked.

''Yes, well…I don't know, I never got complaints.'' Max unsurely answered.

''Well, consider this the first!'' I told him before i began searching his kitchen cupboards for a plunger and toilet cleaner.

''But I-''

''You're illegally making drugs, that no one called the cops yet!'' I interrupted him, peaking my head out of the cupboard to voice my surprise.

''That's probably because they'll get in trouble themselves when they call them.'' He meekly suggested. Fine, the apartment sucks and I'm probably surrounded by crooks, that Max is still alive in here may be a small miracle from above.

''But I won't! So if you don't give me your toilet cleaner, I'll have to rat on you.'' I calmly threatened him. He dove towards a bottle that stood on the same table as his beakers and handed it to me.

''Can I get it back? I need it for my own bathroom tomorrow.'' He requested.

''Sure.'' I begrudgingly answered before I went back to my own apartment.

* * *

Several hours later around midnight, I managed to clean the bathroom so that it was usable without contracting deadly diseases and I bought myself takeout food from a nearby Los Pollos Hermanas. Fried chicken gives me nasty zits, but it's the only thing I could get at this hour. It has been some evening, it looked so bright when I got here, but that quickly turned awry. The neighborhood sucks, the apartment sucks, and the landlord is a tyrant. You've learned a wise lesson today Topher, don't blindly trust the internet.[3]

* * *

A few days later I had found a job at the Los Pollos Hermanas I went earlier. It's purely that there isn't anything else available close by, otherwise I wouldn't busy myself hanging over disgusting fryers and serving people their processed chicken ass. I tried applying for a job at the nearby Bean Counter, where at least decent people come (Aside from the hipsters), even if it's wholly overpriced, but if they needed anyone, I wouldn't be standing here right now. [4]

''Topher, bring this shake to table 5!'' My boss ordered me, handing me a shake and shooing me away from the fryer.

''Yes Daniel.'' I replied before a bitter sigh. I wonder what's in this shake, probably whatever remains of the chicken they can't put in their meals, chicken feet must be tasty when they're blended.

I almost dropped the shake when I figured who was sitting at table 5. Dakota Milton, idly tapping on her telephone. I think she was on the 4th season of Total Drama, where she became a mutant that was close to slaying Chris. Back then, I was in shock and hated her with every pore in my body, but in hindsight, she had my blessing. Extensive medical treatment returned her to her normal self, but I've heard rumors that she might change again if she becomes incredibly angry. She hadn't changed much either since the last time I saw something of her, but she looked more representative in her white business suit. I wonder what she's been up to, she wanted to be famous, but it has remained eerily quiet around her the past years for someone with that ambition. Nonetheless, she could help me in my own rise to fame. I approached, her a little excited by the ideas of how she could help me.

''Here's your drink Dakota!'' I politely told her, putting the shake in front of her.

''Yeah than-'' Dakota shrugged off, pausing midsentence, probably realizing that I called her by her name. ''Hold on, how do you know my name?'' She suspiciously asked me, turning her body to face me.

''Because I remember you from Total Drama!'' I gleefully answered.

''Ssh! I don't want this whole place to know!'' She venomously whispered at me, firmly grabbing my arm. ''I'm over that time! Everyone is!'' She assured me. Total Drama ended some 6 years ago, after a contestant got seriously wounded during a magic show challenge, I guess real magicians don't actually saw their assistant in half. I never quite figured how that never happened to us. It ruined the show, the viewers finally realized that watching torture is only fun and games until someone loses a limb. The ratings plunged so deeply that the executives stopped broadcasting halfway through the season. Since then, it hasn't been aired and it's only hardly talked about these days, but I heard rumors that the show may be rebooted someday.

''You wanted to be famous!'' I stated while I followed Dakota, who walked to the exit, probably trying to get away from me.

''Yeah, I wanted to, but I couldn't because Total Drama turned me into a mutant! Thank god that it could be reversed!'' She lamented after we had walked outside. I froze up for a second in disbelief, does this mean that she can't help me? ''So instead, I became a manager to make other people famous!'' She continued. ''You definitely heard of Angus Von Trapp!''

''The Muncher Of Munich? That action star who's running for governor of Manitoba?'' I guessed with a raised eyebrow. I don't like him, his movies are of the kind 'sharks caught in a tornado' over the top action movies. [5]

''That's 1 of my clients!'' She proudly informed me.

''Would you care if I became a client of yours?'' I humbly asked, rubbing my palms together.

''What do you want to be?''

''The biggest TV show host in Canadian history!'' I told her, my ambition being very evident.

She hesitantly looked around for a few seconds. ''I don't think I can do something with that, my expertise mainly lays in the film industry, good luck with it though.'' Dakota deniably answered before she wanted to leave.

''But I have qualifications! I attended poise classes, I've hosted shows on a regional channel and I've been on Total Drama! Doesn't that mean anything?'' I almost begged her. She looked at me for a few seconds, maybe she wouldn't look that freaked out if I didn't come so close to her.

''Look, I mostly work with folks that already have made a name for themselves.'' She explained. I've made a name for myself too! It just faded into obscurity! ''So once you're big enough, contact me.'' She advised me, handing me a business card before she hailed a cab.

''But when am I big enough?'' I confusedly asked.

''When Canada has a faint idea of who you are!'' She shouted at me before entering a taxi and driving off. I frown at the cab as it disappeared into the traffic flow, she probably tried to get rid of me, but she gave me her card, and that's very good! I may be stuck here right now, but when the day comes closer that I become a major network's big man, I'll have a solid connection! Now I should probably get back, I've already had 1 official warning for my blunt remarks to customers and at this point, I can't afford to lose my job already, no matter how bad it is.

* * *

**Ah, business cards, they make such good plot elements!**

**[1] Emotion 89.5 is a not so subtle reference to GTA Vice City's Emotion 98.3, which is also a power ballad station.**

**[2] A reference to Breaking Bad.**

**[3] A parody of Los Pollos Hermanos (The Chicken Brothers), a chain of fried chicken restaurants (Also) from Breaking Bad.**

**[4] The Bean Counter is referencing several coffee chains you definitely heard of.**

**[5] Angus Von Trapp is a combination of a lot of things. Firstly, Angela Merkel's (The current chancellor of Germany) first name along with the surname of The Sound Of Music's Von Trapp family along with Jean Claude Van Damme's nickname 'Muscles Of Brussels' and Arnold Schwarzenegger's governorship of California.**

**For those who care, some other 1****st**** generation contestants will make an appearance too.**

**Next chapter, Topher gets his first real shot at glory!**

**Remember when I said that I didn't have much to say this chapter? It still applies, so that means that I just saved you about 14 seconds of time that you can spend reading other stories on this site! Go have a blast!**

**Tot de volgende update!**

**:D,**

**L.W.**


	3. Small Fish In Big Pond

**To The Toph**

**I've forgotten the introductory line for this chapter. Sorry!**

**The Abysswalker: Thank you! Stick around!**

**Jak: Ah, I could've labeled it a Courtney X Duncan fic to attract readers, but that would be scamming wouldn't it? :D**

**Super Guest: Yeah it surely isn't always fun and giggles, I believe that oftentimes people want too much too quickly. And it sure is handy to have someone in the same building who you can constantly borrow stuff from (Without ever bringing it back).**

**Applause2014: Becoming famous is never easy isn't it?**

**Beginning this chapter, I'm going to try to make them longer. Why? Just because!**

**Yadayada, you know the drill, rated T for very minor cussing.**

**And that's all already! Go reading!**

* * *

**Chapter 3: Small Fish In A Big Pond**

* * *

What should I type to mommy?

I was standing in my apartment, leaning against 1 of the cupboards while I was typing on a medium-end laptop I recently bought (I was using Max's internet connection. His password is 'Guest'. I wonder if he knows) about a month after I arrived. It has become winter but the snow stayed away. The ice did not however. I'm dressed in my Los Pollos Uniform because my shift starts in half an hour.[1]

''Dear mom. '' I repeated aloud as I tried to think of what to type after that.

''After settling in for a bit, I figured that it isn't that bad as it seemed. I furnished it nicely, it keeps me warm on these chilly winter nights and the chemist I mentioned earlier now at least experiments when I'm not at home. So it's doable now. Don't worry about my financial situation, the job at the chicken place isn't all that but at least I have some way of income. Say hi to Derrick and Sid for me. Love you, Topher.'' I recited as I typed it down, sent the email and turned the laptop off before I walked over to the mirror in my bathroom to check my head.

The past month I ate takeout food almost every day, and that leaves its mark on my appearance. My skin looked sickly pale and had a few nasty spots along with other such imperfections. I think I gained some serious weight too. But like I said, that's what you get for solely eating processed chicken ass for dinner. I apply some gel before I leave my apartment and head for a small parking lot behind the building.

Besides the laptop I also bought a second-hand car from the 4200 dollar I had left after the first rent and the computer. A small yellow Renard hatchback missing all of its rims and having a mismatched green colored car door at the driver's side. The inside smells like a mixture of cola and oil, it has trouble starting, shifts stiffly and the engine regularly gives massive backfire too. I know it isn't exactly a supercar but this is the best you can buy in this neighborhood without risking it being stolen first, (The guy I bought it from didn't look like he could even break a glass jar). Now I'm almost completely out of money, but it's a calculated risk, I work as many shifts as they let me, so I got to make some buck overtime right? [2]

I get into the car (Needing a few time to get the door to shut) and drive to the Los Pollos while I try to find a nice radio station to listen to. I've listened to Emotion 89.5 a few times and when Rodney's on (He goes by the name of Rodmance), he does his job well aside from the occasional strange metaphor. He helps out callers by giving them romantic advice, and no matter how stupid they sound, the caller seem to be grateful for it. That either means that he gives really good advices indeed, or that his callers are just flat-out desperate. He too often tells stories about his romantic encounters, but I doubt if any of the stories about his love life are real. But right now I'm not going to listen to Emotion, during the day there's some other DJ on and she's pretty annoying, she goes by the name of Abby and she sounds and behaves like she's stuck in the 80's, and this is too reflected by her taste of music. So let's put on club music for now, it keeps me awake during these long traffic jams. It's winter and it has to freeze for just an hour and Toronto's highway silt up like the veins of Los Pollos' regulars.

* * *

I'm halfway through my shift, it's about 5 PM now and the joint is slowly filling up with people who just watched a movie in the theater opposite of the Los Pollos and want these waste products for lunch (As if the salt in their popcorn wasn't enough salt for them). At least that's what was happening the last time I checked, because I'm in the back of the kitchen. I volunteered to clean some of the fryers when my shift began like I always do, because Daniel hardly ever cares to check so that means that I can surf the web on my phone practically anytime I want, but I have to take care not to get caught.

''Topher are you finally done cleaning that fryer?! The dinner crowd is pouring in!'' Daniel (My boss) abruptly called out to me, it startled me so much that my phone slipped out of my grip and fell into a bucket of water standing on the cleaning trolley. I'm afraid that it's broken now (And that sucks even more because I paid good money for it) but at least the evidence is hidden from Daniel.

''Yeah man! It's as clean as it can get!'' I responded, stepping aside to let Daniel check it.

''It hasn't been cleaned well enough!'' Daniel announced after inspecting it for a few seconds. He also said something else to me as well but I didn't hear as I was wondering how he can deal with the filthy smell coming out of that thing.

''It's not like it's going to make the chicken any healthier to eat.'' I absentmindedly replied. I don't know if that's a relevant reply, but I am right, right?

''Frying it in a dirty fryer can make customers seriously ill Topher!'' Daniel sternly pointed out. ''And if they get sick then they have a solid case against us!'' He added, taking a brush and cleaning it some more. I used this opportunity to pick up my cell phone.

''Now, how many times has that happened this past year?'' I cynically joked while I checked if it still worked, it did. Yes!

''Topher, don't screw around! Go man a cash register.'' Daniel ordered me.

''Do you think 25 times is an accurate guess? Or should it be way more?'' I continued joking.

''Topher!'' He shouted at me, still with his head in the fryer.

''Fine, fine!'' I mumbled submissively, holding my hands up in defense as I approached a register and turned it on. Almost directly a group of customers from another queue lined up in front of me.

I hate manning the register, you always have to interact with the weirdest and most annoying customers known to men. I've been working here for 2 weeks and I've managed to distinguish several types of customer, like the 'beached whale', a incredibly obese man or woman who always orders half of the menu, or the 'typical family', consisting of parents who look like they've given up on life along with their uncontrollable bratty kids they don't ever chide whenever they tear the whole place up. And then there's the group that's currently standing in front of me, the 'clique of teenagers', whose hormones make them a tad unpredictable, but they're mostly cocky, witty, smug, extremely arrogant or a combination of that. They often behave like they're above you. Sure, you don't have the social stature of a king if you work here (Unless you work in a Indian outlet of Los Pollos I heard), but still.

''Welcome to Los Pollos Hermanas, what do you clucknuts want?'' I lazily asked the smuggest one, which I presume to be their leader, followed by a small humored chuckle from me.

''Ha ha, funny. At least I'm not working in a chicken place.'' 1 of them countered, after which he snickered and turned his head to his friends, prompting them to snicker along.

''Don't say that too loud.'' I calmly replied after cynically chuckling along with them. ''Now what do you want?'' I sternly asked them.

''2 burgers, 1 box of wings, half a dozen chicken chunks and 4 cola.'' He listed.

''Take away?''

''Yeah.'' He answered. Perfect.

''Alright then.'' I muttered while I went to the kitchen to get their order. I approached Gareth, a fellow cashier who was collecting his order too. Because Gareth was into the rock scene, he had pretty long blond hair and because of that, he had to wear a hairnet. Like me, Gareth tries to become a TV host and has previous experience with hosting a show (Broadcasted from the basement of his friend's parental home). But despite that, we don't really see eye to eye. Probably because we see each other as a threat. [3]

''Hey Gareth, mind if I borrow some of your hair?'' I asked him as I searched for my order.

''Teenagers?'' He predicted, pulling his hairnet off.

''A whole bunch of them.'' I responded as I retrieved 2 burgers out of the fryer and laid them on a bun. Gareth proceeded to bang his head back and forth above the burgers, dropping a ton of hair on the patties.

''Daniel doesn't need to know.'' I said while I filled a carton with chicken wings.

''Daniel doesn't need to know indeed.'' He replied while putting on his hairnet again. We treat customers who bother us to treats like this more often as a way of revenge and saying this is meant as some sort of trust between each other. No, we don't like each other for our ambition, but we do share a hatred for annoying customers!

I put some chicken chunks in a box and put that box in a doggy and headed back to the counter, but not before I took an application form and put it in the bag.

''There you go, you little chickenclucker!'' I gleefully told the teenager, who looked into the bag and pulled the application form.

''What's this?'' He numbly asked.

''An application form.'' I answered as I intensely stared at him with a venomous smile. He stared at me a little dumbfounded before he and his group quietly left. Sometimes I'm such a comedy genius.

* * *

About an hour later, the dinner rush was slowly coming to an end. Daniel and Gareth were mopping the floor around the registers and I concluded serving a customer of the beached whale kind. I was tempted to say 'You missed the turn, the zoo is left and the straight ahead on the end of the street.' Or 'Finally fed up with zoo food?' but if I said that with Daniel around, it may cost me my job, which is too valuable to me right now, a sad truth. The customer heads for a table while I hear a ringtone, it turns out to be Daniel's phone as he picked it up.

''Los Pollos Rexdale, speaking with the manager, Daniel Alvarez.'' He introduced himself to the caller. ''I see.'' He grumbled after a few moments, nodding his head a little. ''You need a typical employee to star in a Los Pollos commercial?'' He asked. This really perked my interest. The commercials of Los Pollos are unlike the ones of Darwin's Food Safari, they have class (Most of them at least) and rely on good acting instead of cow suits. I can name dozens of TV personalities who began as commercial actors! This could be a big step up! Sadly, I'm not the only one interested, Gareth seems to be eagerly listening as well.

''I'm a typical employee, I'm ideal for that ad!'' I and Gareth said at the same moment, I slid over the counter and we both approached Daniel.

''And it's going to be shot in the Toronto TV studios?'' Daniel asked again. The Toronto studios, that's where all mayor companies get their commercials shot! This is going to be my debut on real TV! But I have to make myself look better than Gareth first.

''Gareth's a terrible worker! He dumps his hair on the food of the customers!'' I loudly pointed out to Daniel, pointing over to Gareth, who was, of course, very angry with me.

''No, he's a terrible employee! He often insults customers!'' Gareth countered, and I shot him a dirty glare. Meanwhile, Daniel kept listening to the other caller.

''So whe-'' Daniel wanted to ask before he was interrupted by us both sprinting towards the back entrance. I had to be there before Gareth! This just shows how few opportunities there are in this business and how many people there are more than eager to seize them!

''Better luck next time Topher, this break is mine!'' Gareth told me as he headed for his car on the parking lot behind the building, a light blue GCM Tracer, a vintage hatchback with a flame decal near the back fenders. [4]

''No, it's my shot at fame! You already have a show!'' I called after him as I headed for my own car standing close by. I entered it and tried to start it, but it had to be just my luck that he had trouble starting right now just as Gareth raced past me!

''Work!'' I muttered as I rapidly tried to turn the ignition on. Luckily, it finally worked before Gareth had turned around the corner. I managed to see Daniel coming out of the building before I drove away too.

The studios are at the other end of the city near the CN tower. If I stick to the highways, then I should be there in a short while! Unfortunately, It's awfully crowded in these streets and it's a little slippery from all the glaze, but I'm not going to drive any slower because of it! I have to get to the studios before Gareth!

We both arrive at a junction and Gareth managed to drive past a traffic light just before it flashed red. Of course I had to stop, but I'm in a serious hurry! I go through a red light while another lane crosses the junction. In a reflex I barely manage to steer away from a large truck crossing, yet still its bumper scraped my flank. It's okay though, my car's a junker anyway and I'm still in hot pursuit of Gareth. He had to take a wide turn because of a truck reversing into a building. This was my chance to get ahead! The truck moved out of the way and if I could cut the corner, I might pass Gareth. I took a sharp turn, driving more over the sidewalk than over the road while I knocked a few mailboxes and newspaper dispensers over along with a street light, which left another dent into my car, but now I was so close behind Gareth that I could almost tailgate him!

My phone is ringing so I check who is calling me. It's Daniel, he probably calls me to scold me for leaving during the busiest hours of the day. I throw the phone aside. Too bad boss, I can't be distracted right now because the split second that I checked my phone, I almost ran into a truck carrying pipes. I used the opportunity to try cutting corners again by taking a shortcut through a gas station, now I was really behind Gareth when we both finally reach the nearest access road and we quickly join the rest of the traffic on the highway.

It was even busier here than on the streets, but that's probably because it's rush hour and the subzero temperatures. I see Gareth heading for the left lane. I want to follow him but I'm cut off by some punk in a sports car. I angrily honk and the guy responds by flipping me off. I grit my teeth in frustration as I can't get another opportunity to get on the left lane while I see Gareth slowly disappearing from my sight. But suddenly the traffic slows down incredibly, a traffic jam! Gareth is stuck on the left lane while I head onto the road shoulder, cheering and celebrating all the way! But right before the exit, the engine gave the biggest backfire I've ever felt from it (making me almost smash my head in the windshield) as I shifted to a lower gear.

''No, no no!'' I exclaimed in horror. I could see smoke coming out of the front grille and the hood. It couldn't accelerate any higher beyond 12 kilometers. I could see Gareth's car slowly passing me before I took the exit, parked my car at the side of the street and let my head fall onto the steering wheel. Why do you have fail me right now?! I gave my last money for you! Now I'm almost broke! I began banging furiously on the steering wheel and I only stopped when my phone went off again, it was Daniel calling for the 2nd time in 10 minutes.

''Topher.'' I numbly greeted.

''Dude, what the hell?! You and Gareth leave me alone at the Los Pollos during the busiest hours of the day?'' Daniel agitatedly asked. See? I told you he'd call about that.

''I know, but we only wanted to be in that commercial to get out of the kitchen of the Los Pollos, permanently. '' I defended myself as I rubbed my face in exhaustion. I don't want to argue about this, just let me go back to the joint and we'll never talk about it again. ''But my car seriously broke down and Gareth is probably now arriving at the studios, so if you're going to call him to congratulate him with the job, tell Gareth I cursed him.'' I requested.

''If there's 1 thing I'll be calling Gareth about it's his dismissal!'' Daniel angrily pointed out. This caught my attention, if he's getting sacked despite getting to do the commercial, what will happen with me?

''If you 2 sticked around and listened more carefully before you sprinted out of the joint, then you would've heard that the commercial was going to be shot next week!'' Daniel revealed. My eyes shot wide open at that revelation.

''Wha-''

''And since you 2 wanted to get out of the kitchen anyway, I don't think that you'll mind it much if I fire you too! You didn't do a very good job anyway, dumping hair on food and insulting customers.'' Daniel pointed out.

''But-'' I stammered some times. He can't be serious!

''Are you proud of yourself? You messed up an easy job like this! Good luck with the rest of your life kid.'' Daniel interrupted me before he hung up. He's right, how could I mess up a job like this? It can't be because I left the Los Pollos right? I was just doing what everyone else would do, giving it their best to make it in this world. But instead, I'm sacked! In the back of my mind, I can hear those bratty teens laughing at me, it feels incredibly humiliating! In a flash of pure anger and frustration, I squeeze my phone so powerfully that it's crunched beyond repair, which I almost immediately regret as I now don't have a phone anymore either! I wish they made those phones stronger, like Tuhkan used to in 2002. I angrily throw the remains of my phone on the passenger seat and I start up my car, hoping that he holds together for a few more streets so that I can find a repair shop. [5]

* * *

Luckily (Though I should stop saying that), I did found a repair shop a few blocks away and a mechanic had time to look at it. We were both standing over the engine of the car. I didn't know much about car engines, but this one looked permanently out of the running.

''I'll keep it abridged. The transmission was already past its prime and is now completely busted, this car is total loss.'' The mechanic concluded as he shut the hood. ''But that's the deal with Renards, those Frenchies didn't made these cars to last. I hope you didn't pay too much for it.'' He told me while he rubbed his hands in a cloth.

''Only my last money, 4200 dollars.'' I nonchalantly replied, looking away and regretting ever spending it.

''Oh, bummer.'' The mechanic replied, not paying full attention to me (Which ticked me off) while he checked the car. ''If you leave the car here, I won't bill you. Maybe I can still get some parts out of it.'' He offered.

''Kindly, I don't want to be reminded of this scrapheap ever again.'' I agreed, angrily kicking the tire a few times.

''You want to call a cab or something?'' The mechanic suggested, pointing over to a phone in the back of his garage.

''No, I'll get home.'' I declined before I took my coat out of the car and sulked out of the garage. Even if I want to, I have to save the very last dollar I have for the speeding and reckless driving fines I'll definitely get.

I somberly walked through the streets as it began to snow, making it an even more somber atmosphere. I come across a Bean Counter. I might as well spend the last dime I can freely spend on way too overpriced coffee.

* * *

I'm sitting in the Bean Counter, drinking my frappe and having already taken a bite out of my chocolate chip cookie, I paid 12 dollars for them, I hope they're worth it. I look around and see that the place is crowded with hipsters and what looks like to be accountants. [6]

''Is that you Topher?'' A feminine voice I recognize speaks to me. I look over in the direction of the voice and almost fell of my stool when the voice turned out to belong to a familiar face from Total Drama, or 1 of 2 familiar faces as I couldn't really tell them apart. It was either Amy or Samey who was speaking to me. She hadn't changed much at all, whoever of the 2 it was, and wore a brown jacket, a white and mint green striped shirt underneath and tan pants. Judging by the smile on her face, she was glad (But a bit startled as well, probably because how I look) to see me. I couldn't care less about her.

''Hello...You?'' I greet back, purposefully acting confused in the hopes of Amy or Samey saying her name herself.

''It's me, Samey!'' She pointed out, sitting down on the stool opposite of me. Of course, Samey. I remember that Amy was the grouchy twin, and Samey was the submissive twin. I really couldn't tell them apart because I didn't care much about them.

''Oh, of course! Samey'' I responded, placing my hand on my forehead, feigning realization, perhaps a bit too obvious but I doubt that Samey will notice it.

Samey casted a lopsided grin and looked at me with narrowed eyes. ''You weren't sure if I was Amy or Samey, weren't you?'' She guessed. She did notice, and I tried to contain my surprise.

''Uh-''

''Don't worry Topher. It's not you, I've just gotten really good at analyzing people the last years.''

''How? Did you become a psychic?'' I confusedly guessed.

''No, I became a psychologist.'' She corrected me matter-of-factly. ''With my own practice!'' She added proudly.

''Okay.'' I mumbled. I have to admit, I'm really surprised that she has studied psychology. She never seemed to be capable of it as every moment I remember her she seemed so submissive, and even when she tried to stand up for herself she didn't look all that confident. But maybe she did become one because she was so submissive.

''And what have you been doing these past years?'' Samey curiously asked me, leaning slightly forward on her stool and inspected my appearance. ''Judging by your looks, you let-''

''Well, until the past month I was rotting away in a regional TV studio in the desert, close by my home...'' I cut off Samey with my explanation, sounding a little miserable. I know I don't look that good right now but I don't want to hear it from other people as well.

''Desert? Are you from the States?'' Samey confusedly interrupted me.

''No, from Osoyoos, in the Canadian desert.'' I answered. Samey shot me a bewildered/confused look that everyone gave me when I told them I'm from the Canadian desert. I hate that look, it reminds me of my cruel fate. ''Yes, Canada has a desert.'' I morosely answered her unasked question before taking a sip from my coffee.

''Sorry, I really didn't know Canada had a desert!'' Samey apologized.

''Don't worry, you're not the only one.'' I grumbled. ''Anyway, a month ago I moved to Toronto and was quickly forced to take a job at the local Los Pollos Hermanas to pay the rent of my less than stellar apartment. A job I had until...'' I paused to check my watch. ''...20 minutes ago.'' I concluded, sticking in the morose mood.

''Why'd you get fired?'' Samey asked, sounding surprised that I messed it up. Yeah, rub it in some more.

''I left abruptly during the busiest hour of the day to go to a commercial that's only shot next week.'' I mumbled, not wanting to go into further detail.

''But why would you give up your job at that channel to work here in a Los Pollos?'' Samey wondered.

''I want to be the biggest TV star Canada has ever known!'' I lively wheezed, spreading my arms out and pacing around the table, imagining myself sitting in a fancy TV studio. I swore I could hear Samey giggling again, so I quickly sat back on my stool. ''And for that I couldn't stay at that regional channel. Believe me, OCRBC's stuffy programs weren't going to get me further into my career.''

''And how's that want coming along?''

I lightly shook my head. ''Not so well at the moment. my car is totaled, I have no money left and my rent's due soon.'' I answered before I hung my head.

''I see.'' Samey replied, looking she was thinking about something. ''And you really want to be a TV star?''

''It would be really awesome. Why?'' I curiously responded. I liked where this was possibly going to.

''Someone who's under therapy at me earns his money by making commercials, maybe I can recommend him to you.'' She told me, sounding hesitant.

''What are you treating him for?'' I asked.

''I can't tell, psychologists' oath. I may have said too much already by saying that I'm treating him.'' She answered, sounding more remorseful now. A psychologists' oath? She didn't seem so solemn when she pretended to be Amy.

''You didn't give any details. For all I know, it could be any man in Canada!'' I assured Samey, trying to prevent her from getting second thoughts.

Samey again had a hesitant look before she shrugged and grabbed her phone. ''I'll give you a call after I've spoke with him. What's your number?'' She asked while she tapped on her phone.

I scratched the back of my head. ''Yeah, since 20 minutes, I don't have a phone anymore either.'' I told her slightly embarrassed, my anger gets me in awkward situations. ''I'll instead give me your mail and home address. Can I have your phone?'' I requested. She handed it to me and I left my addresses on her notepad. ''There you go.'' I said while I've handed Samey her phone back.

Samey looked at me and I looked back at her while an awkward silence persisted. I quickly but inconspicuously finished my coffee and stood up. ''I need to go. It's quite a few blocks until I get home. Don't forget to drop by, okay?'' I reminded her while I put my coat on.

''I definitely won't! It was nice having talked to you again!'' She gleefully greeted me. I wish I could really say the same about you. It's at least good to see someone else who didn't become more famous than me. In the reflection of the glass door I could see Samey curiously looking back at me, to be clearer she was looking at my butt, and seemed to be a bit disappointed. I groaned and left the Bean Counter. I know I've gotten fat, but this only adds more insult to injury!

Samey apparently still has a crush on me, that's probably why she agreed to help. When I was preparing my hair for the night back on Pahkitew Island, I heard Samey on the girl garble in her sleep about me. She wasn't the only one, I had a feeling that Ella was crushing on me too. And although it feels great to be admired by so many girls, back then I was going through a phase and had other more interesting business on my mind (Which were mostly about Chris). Luckily she never let it show that Samey crushed on me. I was pretty annoyed by the idea that Samey had a crush on me back then, but I got to admit, that crush is finally getting me somewhere!

* * *

**Talk about chance encounters!**

**[1] A reference to the TV-series Archer.**

**[2] Renard (French for fox) is a jab at Renault and the car Topher describes is meant to be the car from Dude, Where Is My Car?**

**[3] Gareth is a close reference to Garth Algar, 1 of the main characters from the movie Wayne's World. Like Topher mentioned, Garth (Along with fellow protagonist Wayne) host a no-budget show from the basement of Wayne's parental house. **

**[4] The GCM (Short for General Canadian Motors, a parody of AMC) Tracer is a nod to the AMC Pacer (A favorite car of mine). The description and it being Gareth's car also references the Mirthmobile (Also from Wayne's World and also a Pacer).**

**[5] Tuhkan is a reference to Nokia and a pun on toucan, those tropical birds with large beaks, and tukha, a Finnish word for ash, just as Nokia is an obscure Finish word for soot.**

**[5] A nod at how a bean counter is actually slang for an accountant.**

**You've seen some very important personality traits of Topher that'll play a major role later in this story!**

**Yes, that Ella X Topher hint was to please you shippers a bit as well, as you can probably feel now what the main couple's going to be 'Half of my readers leave spontaneously'. But I promise it to be a very clever take on their possible relationship 'Some readers return'. Great!**

**Until next time and if anyone's looking for me, I'll be watching the game Feyenoord VS. NK Rijeka from Croatia!**

**Feyenoord regeert,**

**L.W.**


	4. First Gig

**To The Toph**

**You can now rent this line for your own messages! Please call 555-NOTREAL and we'll discuss charges!**

**The Abysswalker: What kind of customer would you be? I'd guess you'd belong to a clique of teenagers. Or maybe a beached whale? I jest of course!**

**Karts Of Sugar Rush: This time, I think it was more the vehicle Topher drove (:D). **

**Applause2014: Why thank you!**

**For those who still remember this story: I'm way too late with updating this I know, but this chapter was just so incredibly hard to write!**

**Yadayada, you know the drill, rated T for minor cussing.**

**And that's all already! Go reading!**

* * *

**Chapter 4: First Gig**

* * *

On a morning less than a week after my encounter with Samey, I sat on my sleeper couch, waiting for my laptop to turn on. When it was on, I wanted to check my mail, but to my surprise, I had to insert Max's internet password again! I sighed as I put the laptop beside me and headed to Max's apartment. Max changes his password every few days. Luckily, I've discovered a trick how to get it.

''Yo Max, are you there?'' I shouted while knocking on his door.

''What do you want, underling?'' Max 'evilly' replied from the other side of the door.

''What are you thinking of right now?'' I asked.

''Uhm, Brussels sprouts.'' He calmly answered before I wrote it down on a noteblock. That's his password, now let's see if he added any numbers.

''And any number by any chance?''

''99. But why do you-'' He said. Max is like an open book that you don't even have to read to know what the ending is.

''Thank you.'' I half-heartedly thanked him before I left before Max could fully ask his question.

I headed back to my apartment (Where thankfully my laptop still stood, as I forgot to lock the door) and inserted the password. After a few tries alternating with caps, I cracked Max's internet and checked my mail. Between the numerous spam mails advertising enhancement drugs (Which, for the record, I absolutely don't need), I got a response from mommy.

'Dear Topher, it's good to hear that my boy is getting by in the 'real world'. Here in Osoyoos, not everything is well. I was getting by on a small budget, but our car isn't what it once was and it broke down. Now I can't get to work and can't pay for the car repair either. But don't let this news bother you, you need everything you can get yourself right now. I'll borrow something from Derrick. Lots of love, mom.' She wrote.

This is bad. I want to help mommy, I owe it to her. But I'm broker than broke myself at the moment! I stand up and pace around the room for a moment with my hands in my hair. If Samey doesn't get me hooked up with that commercial guy, I'm screwed.

Then someone knocked on my door, so I opened it. revealing a smiling Samey to be standing at the other side. Speaking of the devil.

''Hi!'' She chirped.

''Hey.'' I numbly replied.

''I have good news!'' She calmly announced.

''Cool.'' I sighed with a fake, weary smile.

''You don't seem to be awfully happy for someone who hears that.'' Samey noted with a raised eyebrow.

''I got a lot going on right now. Don't worry, that's not because of you.'' I assured Samey before I let her into my home and shut the door. ''Make yourself at home. It's not much, but...'' I tried to make my home sound a little better than it is. ''Who am I kidding, it's not much.'' I admitted rather downcast while I sat down on my couch while Samey took a chair and sat opposite of me. This place can hardly be made better by words only.

''Don't say that. At least you're living in a safe neighborhood. You don't want to live in The Jungle, it can be outright dangerous there!''

''I beg to differ.'' I mumbled.

''Anyway, I talked to the guy from the commercial firm, and I managed to talk him into getting you a sort of internship at the TV studios where the commercials are shot in exchange for a free therapy session. And if he thinks you're good, he'll consider hiring you!'' She explained.

''That's...Very nice!'' I humbly responded, yet inside, I was jumping up and down out of happiness! This came at the right time.

''I do hope that you don't have any other appointments at the moment, because he'd like to meet you later today!''

''Do I look like I have anything to do?'' I vividly asked her before I ran into my bathroom. ''I'll gussy myself up a little and I'm on the go!'' I told her while I covered up my spots, did my hair a little and strutted out of the bathroom to get a coat.

''I can bring you if you want.'' Samey offered while we walked out of my apartment.

''You've done enough, I'll be fine!'' I assured her as I locked the door and walked towards the stairwell.

''Please, I insist!'' She insisted with a confidant grin, firmly tugging the sleeve of my coat which caused me to stop walking. I raised my eyebrows out of surprise. Is this the same Samey as back on the island?

''Okay then.'' I agreed before we both walked down the stairs. When we were about to go from the 2nd to the 1st floor, I spotted the landlord out of the corner of my eye down below. Snap, I forgot to pay my rent, and I don't have any money on me either! What to do now?

As I pondered for a solution to the inevitable eviction, I leant a little too hard on the banister and it broke off, sending me tumbling down the entire remaining staircase! This isn't made better by the fact that it made several sharp turns, I pay rent for this dump? I just hope I'm not bruised too bad...

''...Ouch...'' I groaned as I laid on the floor, looking like I was unconscious as I could hear the landlord approach.

''Hey Fontaine, your rent's due motherfucker! And don't be pulling that 'falling down the stairs shit' on me, you hear?! Yeah, you're conscious!'' He yelled at me while Samey stormed down as well. I remember that if you pretend to be dead, predators leave you to be, maybe it works with landlords as well, they're very much alike.[1]

''Slow down a bit!?'' Samey scolded the landlord. ''He just fell down the stairs and you expect him to pay right away?''

''He's late with the rent so I have all right to expect that.'' The landlord grumbled. There's no need to stop acting like I'm unconscious yet.

''What do you owe him?'' Samey sternly asked before I peeked on the 2 and saw that Samey was getting a chequebook out of her coat.

''About 500 dollars.'' The landlord explained. There was a silence between the 2 as the only noise I could hear was that of a pen. It was then that I slowly got up, pretending to awake from being unconscious, and rubbed my head. I could see Samey writing a cheque and handing it to the landlord.

''There.'' Samey snarled. The landlord muttered something inaudible to me as he disappeared back into his own quarters.

''Did you just pay him?'' I asked a little surprised as I tried to get up from the floor. She hummed and nodded her head in reply while she pulled me on my feet.

''It's never wrong to help others, right? Especially if they're pretending to be unconscious.'' She told me, shooting me a dark, knowing gleam. Oh yes, Samey's a psychologist now, she isn't as naive anymore.

''I swear, that was a fear reflex!'' I assured her, which she obviously didn't buy as she kept shooting me that smile while lightly shaking her head. ''But why would you pay my rent?'' I asked her a little bewildered.

''I have money, and you need money. For other people who are dear to you.'' She answered as we walked outside towards her car, a pinkish red sedan. Did she read my email when I was doing my hair? That's rude.

Why is she helping me so much? I don't want her to help me! If she helps me with so many big things that means that I have to return the favors someday too! I look at my reflection in Samey's rear-view mirror and I had to gasp of the way my hair looked, probably from that tumble down the stairs.

''Tell me, do I look bruised?'' I asked Samey a bit worried while I looked at her before I desperately tried to fix it.

''You look fine! No one cares if a guy has a bruise or 2, that's what makes them look manly!'' Samey tried to ensure me while she was driving.

''I care! I don't want to arrive there looking like I came straight out of a cage fight! I have more class than that!'' I almost hysterically responded, which made Samey giggle a little. ''What are you laughing at?'' I barked at her, which forced another fit of giggles out of her. I sighed, I'll never understand her.

* * *

Samey pulled up in front of the TV studios a short while later. Thank any god that I managed to fix my head on the way.

''Go to the reception and ask for Mr. Cho, he's our man- ehrm, I mean your man!'' Samey explained.

I sighed deeply. ''Thank you for all of this, and then I mean everything! The opportunity, the rent...Samey, If there's anything I can do in return, then-'' I suavely told her.

''Well, there is 1 thing.'' She humbly interrupted me. I groaned under my breath. I hoped that she'd decline any other favors in return as I said that out of politeness and hoping that she'd think that making use of said favors was impolite.

''Could you call me Sammy, or Samantha? Samey is my name from another period of my life.'' She requested. I blankly stared at her for a second. Is that all? She just wants me to call her by her 'real' name as a reward? Fine, if it makes her sleep at night.

''Of course, no biggie.'' I agreed as I unbuckled my seatbelt and opened the door. ''Thanks again, Sam!'' I thanked her (Hopefully for the last time), putting an emphasis on her name, which made her quietly giggle a bit again as I shut the door and walked towards the administration building while Samey drove away. I breathed in deeply and smiled confidently, this may very well be the beginning of everything!

I approached the reception desk and leaned onto it as I charmingly smiled at the receptionist. ''Could you tell me where I can find Mr. Cho, beautiful? Because I have an appointment with him. The name's Topher Fontaine.'' I suavely told her. The receptionist just blankly frowned at me and adjusted her glasses a little before looking it up on her computer.

''Mr. Cho's office is on the 4th floor, office 45. He's expecting you...'' She informed me. ''...Beautiful.'' She cynically added before I left. I glared back at her for a second as I walked towards the elevator, what's her damage?

I turned my head just in time to see the elevator doors shutting in front of me. I instead take the staircase, maybe that'll be good for my physique as well. I reached the 4th floor rather fatigued. I never really sported (Except for PE class, which I almost failed) and I know I'm not very athletic (I instead just carefully watched my diet), but this is really ridiculous! I can't even climb a few stairs anymore without breaking out in wheezes! I really need to get rid of that fast-food in my veins!

* * *

I found Mr. Cho's office and calmly knocked on the door a few times.

''Come in.'' He replied. I entered the small but well decorated office and saw Mr. Cho sitting behind the desk. Mr. Cho wasn't exactly physically appealing (But right now, I can't boast about that either.). He had a Asian look and was mostly bald, but he compensates what isn't on his head by having a short beard. No, it's clear to me that this man works here to produce commercials and not to act in them.

''Hello, I came for the internship.'' I explained a bit meekly, as I was pretty nervous now I stood in front of the man that could really start my career.

''Ah!'' He replied a little eagerly as he stretched his arm out to offer me a handshake. I got a bit startled when I saw that his hands were wrapped in bandages. I managed to contain my shock and shook it.

''Topher Fontaine.'' I introduced myself.

''William Cho. Sit down.'' He told me before we both sat down in our seats. ''Alright, the internship consists of doing chores and helping me out while I have my hands wrapped up!'' Mr. Cho began explaining, finishing with a short chuckle while holding his hands up to me, to which my nervous smile dropped. Instead of directly getting to star in commercials, I have to wipe this guy's behind all day! Well, at least I'm in the right industry now, and it's a paid internship, so I might as well try.. ''Part of a therapy.'' He quickly pointed out before he hid them under the table again. I wonder what he's being treated for then.

''And eventually I may gradually teach you the art of television making.'' He began explaining. ''But tell me about yourself. Our mutual contact told me a few things, but she didn't seem to know you fully and I want to get a good view of you.''

''We've met each other again after a few years, so it's indeed not like she's been my girlfriend for the past few years or something.'' I shrugged off, trying to sound formal. I mentally prepared to tell my life story. ''But about me, I come from Osoyoos, a small town in British Columbia. And ever since I understood what a TV was, I adored it, the people on it and wished to star in my own TV show!'' I explained, leaning back in my chair and laying my arms in my neck.

''Why would you want to work here and not, say, at the movie studios? Why Television so badly?''

''I find acting incredibly overrated! It's right there in the word, you act. If it goes wrong, then everything stops and you can just retry! TV, or at least the kind I'd like to reach someday, is live and you can't permit any errors that way! Any spilled drink on your crotch or booger hanging out of your nose is recorded and put on the internet! That's the challenge!'' I lively explained, standing up and pacing around the office for a bit. I find actors highly overrated indeed. Mr. Cho nodded his head and looked fairly impressed. 1-0 for me!

''Okay, what do you consider to be your good traits?'' Mr. Cho asked.

''I'm charismatic, focused, have great improvisation skills, I dare to take risks and even though I don't look like it, I always try to look as representative as possible! Plus, I do have a lot of experience in commercial acting, but there's a lot of it that I'd rather not talk about.'' I answered slightly dismissive. ''My first television appearance was in Total Drama Pahkitew Island, when the show still had a respectable margin of popularity.''

''Ah yes, I remember you now!'' Mr. Cho replied, a small smile forming. Wow, someone recognized me! This is going good, but I need to make it a little better.

''Cool! And I lasted 8 whole episodes. I got a few good TV tips from my absolute idol Chris McLean while I was at it.'' I continued, perhaps sounding a bit too boastful. And I know I was lying when I said I got tips from Chris. He did give me one, but I was not happy with it!

''I remember that you tried to replace him as the host.'' He remarked, I'd swear that I heard a cynical undertone.

''Hey hey! He was my idol, but I had ambitions too!'' I defended myself.

''Trying to take people's jobs isn't the way to grow in this business.'' Mr. Cho declared.

''Yeah, well I learned my lesson, because afterwards, I did get on TV again, but that was a regional channel called OCRBC. I worked there for 10 years and mostly carried cables around, help build up the set up the and eventually, I got to host a talk show called Grain Of Truth until I quit to seek better opportunities in the TV world, which I hope you can give me.'' I continued, suavely pleading.

''Why did you quit?'' Mr. Cho asked me.

''An artistic disagreement.'' I responded laconically.

''I see.'' He mumbled before he typed something into his computer, which gave me an opportunity to wipe the sweat off of my brow and adjust my hair a little. Is it so hot in here or am I so nervous? I need some distraction, I see a letter laying about and I lean forward in my chair to read it. it turned out to be a letter from a insurance company requesting a commercial for funeral insurances. I felt an idea coming up for a commercial.

''Say, have you already produced the commercial for this one?'' I asked Mr. Cho as I showed him the letter, quietly gulping as I realized it may've come over as incredibly rude just nosing around his papers.

''No, we're still in the planning phase with that one.'' He replied before he resumed typing onto his keyboard.

''Well I got a sweet idea for a commercial!'' I eagerly told him before I shot up and stood right in front of his desk, catching his attention. ''Imagine a church where a funeral is being held, the reverend is giving the last sacrament and the visitors are mourning the recently passed when suddenly an insurance agent storms into the church and runs up to the altar. The agent interrupts the reverend and tells him that the deceased hasn't had his funeral insurance in order, to which the reverend responds by knocking on the coffin, calling it out to the deceased man, and to which that guy opens the coffin and is all like 'What?!' before the tagline turns up 'Hatfield funeral insurances, don't be caught sleeping.', or something!'' I lively formulated, making a lot of gestures with my hands during the example. Mr. Cho replied by laughing heartily. I got quite nervous, was he laughing at me or with me?

''That's pretty funny stuff!'' Mr. Cho complimented me soon after. ''I mean we can't record a commercial like that because it's way too offensive.'' He quietly added. ''But it's great nonetheless!'' He continued. I suddenly felt really great about myself.

''That's what I learnt from my time at the regional channel. Improvising!'' I explained as I sat back in my chair. It's better for me that I don't tell that I gradually taught myself that by insulting the guests on Grain Of Truth.

''Alright, in the end, I've got a pretty good feeling about you, so you're hired.'' He suddenly concluded, stretching his hand out to me again, which of course, I shook with a bright gleam on my face.

''I'm pretty sure you won't regret it!''I assured him before I let go.

''But let me warn you kid, don't attempt to steal someone else's spot in here! Try to do it all yourself!'' Mr. Cho sternly advised me like I didn't know yet.

''I'll try!'' I promised.

''You better be.'' He replied. ''Meet me back here at Monday and I'll show you the ropes.'' Mr. Cho told me as I put my coat on. I'm finally into the business!

* * *

A little more than a month had passed. Like I predicted, I didn't get to do much besides fetching coffee and occasionally noting something down. But I am in the industry now and I get paid pretty well for an internship (And I could give mommy the money she needed), so I can't complain that much. The only thing that still bothers me is that I look like a slob. Losing weight has become incredibly hard lately, maybe Max can think of a solution, as he's into medicines and all.

I was bringing a coffee pot to Mr. Cho, who was at a meeting with a company. So I headed to the conference hall they were in and I opened the door as Mr. Cho, a few people who I thought were the production crew and a few representatives from that company were in the middle of discussing about a commercial, as I saw all kinds of formulas and such on the whiteboard behind him.

''Thanks Topher.'' Mr. Cho thanked after I filled a cup of coffee for him. Usually, I'd leave, but I stuck around because I was curious to what they wanted the actual commercial to be like.

''We believe the commercial itself can be done simply. A man who was once poor has become rich and living the good life because of all the money he saved by subscribing to Ufone.'' Someone from the production crew suggested after the representative had finished his explanation. Commercials for a telecommunications company are usually boring and incredibly annoying. And this concept wasn't promising. And I got an idea how to break that trend.

''No it really doesn't.'' I boldly countered. Everyone looked at me and I once again realized that I may've acted above my station again. ''I mean, it gives off a bad message.'' I continued rather meekly. ''If you make a commercial that tells the story of a man who got rich from all the money he saved, not only does that sound incredibly arrogant, but it's almost like 1 of those bait and click ads you find on the internet with things too good to be true, like how someone makes 3000 dollars a day or that you've won a free cell phone! And as a big company you don't want to be associated with those scam ads don't you?'' I explained.

''No, of course not.'' 1 of the representatives mumbled, shaking his head slightly.

''You've got a better idea then?'' The producer who pitched the former idea gruffly asked me. I think that he feels threatened by my explanation, I can see it in his attitude.

''What if you turn the situation around a little?'' I suggested as I once again began pacing around the spot I stood. ''A millionaire who had just gone from rags to riches, but keeps high spirits because he has a subscription with Ufone! And if you add some comedy by showing a few shots of a millionaire having to live a blue collar life.'' I finished explaining. The concept undeniably aroused the interest of both the representatives and the production crew, which made me feel pretty good about myself.

''Brilliant.'' Mr. Cho complimented me while he gently applauded, which made me feel even better.

''Like that, you got a commercial that's both funny and brings the message in a humble and original way! And who knows, maybe you'll win a Betsy with them!'' I enthusiastically continued. [2]

''Don't overdo it kid.'' 1 of the producers moodily shot me down. I bet he's just jealous that I outshined him.

''Thank you Topher, for this enlightening concept!'' Mr. Cho thanked me. I took this as a way to tell me to get out so I smiled, nodded my head slightly and left the room. I definitely left an impression, now I hope it was a good one.

* * *

Later that day, when I stood next to the coffee machine to make an espresso for myself, Mr. Cho came walking into the small kitchen.

''Hey Topher.'' He greeted me as he retrieved something from the fridge.

''How did the meeting go?'' I asked before taking a sip from my coffee.

''Nothing special, it's not like there's much on the line. You discuss with the company about the commercial and what you hope to achieve with it.'' Mr. Cho explained while he retrieved his lunchbox from the fridge and closed it. ''Again, splendid concept for that commercial kid! No one could deny that it was a great, fresh idea.'' He complimented me again as he put his lunchbox down on the counter.

''Did it pass?'' I curiously asked.

''Mostly. We figured that we have to shoot it in a real apartment for the authentic feeling, but with that, we've run out of money to hire a professional actor.'' Mr. Cho answered. I quietly squealed in joy. I feel so special that my idea is going to be a real commercial!

''And now?''

''They're going to hold auditions in 2 weeks here in the office to look for a cheaper actor.'' He answered before taking a bite out of his sandwich.

I really began to consider going to that audition. It's acting, but many famous people started out as commercial actors, and even though many of those ended up in movies, if I do this right, it could just be a step in the right direction.

''Can anyone audition?'' I asked. I had to be subtle because maybe Mr Cho doesn't want me to audition while I'm still an intern.

''Do you want to give it a try?'' Mr Cho guessed, much to my surprise.

''It can be a start of great things.'' I told him, perhaps a bit ambitiously, as I leaned against the counter. ''But if I pass the audition and go commercial, doesn't that conflict with my internship here?''

''Hey, if you want to quit, you can at any time. You've got my blessing, I'm sure you'll pass, if not this one then another.'' Mr Cho encouraged me before taking a bite from his sandwich.

''Alright then.'' I said, I felt that I was getting pretty excited over doing audition next week, and I desperately tried not to look all giddily about it.

''And if acting doesn't work out, you should consider producing commercials. You got talent for that!'' He continued before I got surprised by Mr Cho suddenly standing up and placing his hand on 1 of my shoulders.

''I'll remember it.'' I told him. But just because I told Mr. Cho that I'll remember it doesn't mean I will. I'm too big for this.

''And don't forget kid, no takeovers! Earn your own spot!'' Mr. Cho sternly warned me, standing up from the table.

''I won't, I've learnt my lesson.'' I assured him before I left the kitchen.

* * *

I was preparing myself for the audition about 2 weeks later. I tried to look like a 40-something old pretty rich man and I hoped to achieve that by dressing in a pretty formal navy blue jacket and tan pants, which I had to rent, and by doing my hair in a thick but neatly combed hairdo. I also grew a very small mustache for the act. I managed to get a sheet with the lines (Which usually only managers and agents can get) and have been practising them a lot lately. I do have experience with commercials, but those were commercials from lowbrow businesses meant to be broadcasted in the region, so I'm trying to rock this audition.

I checked my resume 1 last time, then my appearance, and then I was ready to go! I took the bus to the studios and waited for my turn.

''Topher Fontaine.'' 1 of the producers called out to me when a door opened on a chink. I headed into the room and saw 2 producers. 1 of them was also at the meeting I pitched my idea at. And he looked a little surprised to see me, in the negative sense. I hope that this doesn't affect my chances. He still was willing to shake my hand when I offered it.

''Topher Fontaine, I already found that name familiar.'' He said as we shook hands, I'd swear I could hear some disdain in his voice.

''You know him Hugh?'' The other producer asked, shaking my hand at his turn.

''Yes, this is the guy who came storming into the room and made our team look bad by pitching this idea we're having to work with now.'' Hugh (As his name apparently is) answered. Now I'm sure I could hear some annoyance.

''Then who's better at doing this commercial than the guy who thought it up huh?'' I lightheartedly asked.

''Not so fast hotshot.'' Hugh shot me down. ''1 swallow does not make spring, and 1 barely acceptable idea doesn't directly make you a superstar!'' He berated me. ''Now go stand on the spot.'' He moodily finished. I must've really hit a wrong wire with him during that meeting, I wonder if the rest of the crew views me like this as well. I laid down my resume on an empty chair and headed to the spot in front of them.

''So, what now?'' I politely ask.

''Say your lines.'' Hugh told me, having calmed down quite a bit.

''Alright.'' I said before I scraped my throat. It's all coming down to this. ''Yes, as quick as you can get rich, the quicker you can become poor again!'' I began, making myself sound older and a little jollier than I usually sound as to match my role. ''Crisis? I find it a breath of fresh air!'' I breezily continued, trying to sound sort of relieved. ''It's entering into a whole new world! It's like discovering fire again, but we needed some adjusting, especially my wife and the children.'' I humbly said, not having even looked at the script yet. ''I find it kind of cozy! In our previous home, we would not have seen each other for days!'' I continued before a short chuckle (Which sounded very good to me) But I have to get back to work, and get all kinds of smart deals! Luckily, I have a subscription at Ufone, that's the quality we're used to, but super cheap!'' I concluded my text (There were a few more bits of text, but those were for other roles) and had a good feeling. The producers at least didn't seem to hate it.

''Okay.'' Hugh called after writing something down. ''Could you improvise a line or 2?'' He asked.

''I can.'' I responded while I looked through my text for a bit of inspiration until I noticed the first line, which didn't sound very well, so I got a idea and faced the producers again.

''Who would've thought? From penthouse, to flophouse!'' I gently said before I used that short humored chuckle again, which forced a few chuckles out of both producers.

''I kind of like it! It's better than what we have now. We should consider putting it in the script!'' The other producer gleefully suggested while taking a note of it.

''Yeah, make it the commercial's catchphrase!'' I eagerly added, for which I received some annoyed stares from Hugh, which managed to put me back in my place as both Hugh and the other producer wrote on their clipboards and read my resume. And I could see from the other producer that he was impressed. After which they faced me again.

''Thank you for your time. When we have picked someone in about a week, we'll let you know. We'll call you, don't call us.'' Hugh explained.

''But I don't have a phone right now.'' I pointed out.

''Not a phone?'' Hugh repeated before he checked my data. ''We'll contact you, don't contact us.'' He corrected himself before handing me my resume back.

''Okay. Thank you for your time.'' I suavely thanked them before I shook their hands and left.

* * *

It was an agonizingly long week after the audition. I had not much to do besides waiting for that relieving message. I got even a few zits from all the worrying I did about whether I'd be picked or not. Today alone I've refreshed my mailbox over a 100 times, hoping that that email would finally arrive. Until 1 moment, I pressed the refresh key another time, and I saw that an email from the company had arrived! I punched in the air out of pure happiness and quickly opened the email.

'Mr Fontaine, after comparing all the candidates for the role in the Ufone commercial, we found you to be the most suitable actor because of your previous experience.' The first part of the email read. I leaned back on my couch and quietly cheered for myself before I continued reading. 'Please meet us in front of the Fulham tower on Norman Drive in Rexdale, Toronto on the 25th of February around 10 AM. Sincerely, Bergman Productions.' I concluded reading before I put the laptop down and just enjoyed this news for a moment.

Then I realized that I live on Norman Drive, so where was this tower then? I quickly walked out of the building and spotted the Fulham tower at the other end of the street. I frowned and crossed my arms while looking at the tower. This was a smack in the face. Of course it was nice that I only had to walk down the street to get to work, but that's also a painful reminder of where I live, as they literally could've picked my apartment to shoot the commercial in. I just hope the crew doesn't see me coming out of here, this house isn't exactly a reflection to myself right now.

* * *

After a long 2 days of filming, the commercial was completely shot. It went by pretty fast because we needed only a few takes and, if I'm allowed to say it, I went through them almost faultless, no matter that the director complained about my ambitious behavior.

After some more days of editing, it was finished and ready to be seen! I was excited and was watching the channel the producers told me was going to be broadcasted on.

The channel in question was broadcasting a soccer match between Canada and Germany though. But that didn't really matter at all. With the soccer craze in Canada growing stronger every day, I'm sure many people will get to see the commercial! It was halftime, Canada was leading with 1-0 (And I don't know if that was good or not), but I didn't care for that. I never wanted to see the commercial break as badly as right now. A few other ads were shown, but then I recognized the apartment of the Fulham tower and rubbed my hands in excitement. Here comes my moment!

I walked into view, dressed and looking similarly to what I wore on the day of my audition.

''Yeah, Who would've thought that huh?'' I asked the viewer as I stood in front of a cityscape with my hands in my pocket. They really liked that line! ''From penthouse, to flophouse!'' I continued before I chuckled briefly as the camera panned out to reveal me standing in the modest living room while the cityscape was revealed to be only a mural on a blind wall. After which a shot followed of me and the actress playing my wife were hauling a large, expensive family portrait.

''Crisis? I find it a breath of fresh air!'' I breezily said, just like in my audition, while I was standing in the small kitchen before a shot was shown of a big house with a sign in the yard of it being seized by the bank and my car being towed away. ''It's entering into a whole new world! It's like discovering fire again, but we needed some adjusting, especially my wife and the children.'' I continued off-screen while my family dispiritedly stood next to a rental trailer and a small car, which I was stuffing.

''I find it kind of cozy! In our previous home, we would not have seen each other for days!'' I told the viewer in another shot where I tried to twist myself and a silver platter of snacks through a small door opening while the actress playing my daughter indifferently kept standing there. ''But I do have to get back to work, and get all kinds of smart deals!'' I said while sitting on a couch and opening a newspaper. ''So now, we all have a subscription at Ufone, that's the quality we're used to, but super cheap!'' I assured the viewer before the screen turned red, the Ufone logo appeared and the voiceover took over. That's when I sat back and began to enjoy this feeling of satisfaction telling me that I'll get to the top eventually![3]

I relaxed for a few more minutes when I realized that I should mail this to mom, if she hadn't seen it already! She'd be proud! I was about to write her a email until I was surprised by a new mail popping up, from Samey. I groaned and reluctantly opened the mail. Yes, without her I wouldn't be in this commercial, but I offered her a reward and she declined. Can't she get the message that I'm not interested in a reunion? Or do I have to ignore her a little more?

'Was that you Topher? Of course it was!' I began reading. I couldn't help but sigh at the cheesy opening of this mail. 'That commercial was terrific! From penthouse to flophouse, that was a real funny line! Did you only act in it or did you help writing it too for example? A lot of actors help in the production these days, so I was wondering. Good luck with the rest, XO XO, Samantha.'

I sighed and began to type my reply.

'Hi Sammy. Even though I didn't 'officially' help in shooting the commercial, I did come up with the whole idea of it when I was working for Mr Cho, and I improvised that line you found so funny. By the way, thank you for causing all this. If you didn't introduce me to Mr Cho, I'd be broke and probably homeless now. Even though you said you wanted nothing in return, I feel like the least I can do is buying you dinner. How does that sound? Cheers, Topher.' I typed, reciting it before I sent it away. Even though I don't want to be with Samey, maybe if I do hang around with her, she'll introduce me to someone else, someone more influential, and with the splendid pay I got for the ad, I can buy her (And myself) pretty good meals to help me with that.

I opened another blank email and started typing again, this 1 was for mommy. 'Dear mom. Have you seen the commercial yet? My first on national TV! Now everyone from Halifax to Vancouver has seen me in action! I'm sure this is the beginning of slowly being uplifted to my goal! And, I got paid pretty well! If there's anything you need, tell me, and I'll find a way to get it for you! Love, Topher.' I eagerly tapped down before I sent this 1 away too before I shut off my laptop, leaned back and enjoyed this positive turn of events some more.

* * *

Some days later, I was looking over lake Ontario, standing under the CN tower. It was an exceptional sunny day in March and I had to be outside to catch some rays, which will hopefully do my skin some good. I was lucky that I had to be a bit fat for the role in the Ufone ad, but it'll probably cost me more gigs than my current appearance will earn me.

Suddenly, my new phone rang (Which I recently bought). I didn't recognize the number calling me, but I picked up anyway.

''Who is this?''

''Hello, big fish!'' A flamboyant-sounding voice greeted me. Although it was hard, I could recognize who it belonged to.

''Dakota?'' I asked, a little baffled to say the least. Why is she calling me until I realized that I only had my phone for 1 day, and that I didn't remember exchanging phone numbers with Dakota.''Hold on, how did you get my number?'' I suspiciously asked.

''Connections, my dear! They open up a lot of possibilities.'' She smugly replied.

''Okay.'' I said, slightly creeped out. ''Why are you calling?''

''You've grown from a small fish to a slightly bigger 1, and I'm reeling you in.'' Dakota cryptically answered.

''What do you mean by that?'' I asked her, pretty irritated because she won't come to the point.

''I saw your commercial and it didn't annoy me to death, so I looked it up on the internet and saw all kinds of memes, jokes and such dedicated to it without even looking for that.'' Dakota pointed out. I was so happy with my first gig that I totally forgot to check the internet for reactions.

''Memes?'' I confusedly repeated while I leaned against a railing.

''The voice of the internet hon, a great way to get publicity.'' She briefly explained. ''But you promised that you'd call me when Canada has a faint idea of who you are. But you didn't call, so I thought that I should break the ice.'' Dakota told me. I forgot about that too. Dakota wants to be my agent? That's excellent! I had to oppress the need to cheer in public.

''So what now?'' I asked her a little excited.

''We should talk things over. Can you meet me at my office in a few days?'' Dakota asked.

''I could meet you now.'' I casually suggested.

''Go then! My time is valuable!'' Dakota calmly barked at me. ''It's in the Sultan building in downtown Toronto on the corner of Norton Avenue and Mcafree Street. My office is on the 19th floor.'' [4]

''I'll be there in an hour!'' I assured her before I hung up and began running towards my goal (Almost being hit by a bus when I crossed the road). If Dakota thinks I'm worthy of being her client, then I must've done something good indeed!

* * *

**The word commercial was mentioned 40 times in this chapter! Including this post scriptum!**

**[1] Parodying a scene from the movie Coming To America**

**[2] The Betsy's are referencing the Bessies, Canada's commercial award.**

**[3] I have to be honest here. I copied this commercial off of a series of commercials for a telecom provider at changed it slightly. I just enjoyed it so much.**

**[4] I based every street name mentioned in this chapter off of antivirus software names.**

**I may've said it earlier, but for anyone who fears it: Yes, I will do Samey X Topher, but as you can read in this (And the following one, which will begin to explore it) Topher won't date Samey because he's attracted to her.**

**So, again, apologies for any inconveniences, but I do hope that you enjoyed the chapter nonetheless!**

**;:J,**

**L.W.**


	5. Making Moves

**To The Toph**

**Hm, no reviews. How awkward, but I'm continuing anyh- Oh wait, here's a few!**

**The Abbyswalker: You can hold it against you? It's a chicken place after all! Max will have something of a role in this chapter, and maybe he'll be a plot element later on, but after that...Let's keep that open for a little while okay? Dakota will have a major role too, as will Samey. Other than that it are going to be mostly supportive roles by the other contestants (Such as Noah). And I can't tell whether Dakota can't be trusted or not, that would spoil too much!**

**Applause2015: Thank you for your review, even if you didn't have to do it for me!**

**Speaking of Dakota, I'm thinking of a short story starring her where she has to learn to live with umpteenth stepmother!**

**Starting with this chapter, I'm going to use the metric system instead of the imperial system for TD stories (Just in case I branch out to other fandoms). Not only because it's easier for me, but also because I recently learned that Canada uses it as well.**

**Rated T because practically all my works gets this rating.**

**Shippers among you, you're going to like the latter half of this episode! Even though I have a feeling the couple isn't that popular. It makes for a good story if done right!**

* * *

**Chapter 5: Making Moves**

* * *

I arrived at the Sultan building in Downtown. I sped through the lobby to catch an elevator to the 19th floor. I noticed that the lobby was pretty prestigious with it's expensive interior, as is this elevator. Dakota is doing well for herself.

The elevator reached the 19th floor and I followed the sings reading 'Milton Talent Agency', which led me into the waiting room of a small, but lavish business with expensive looking furniture, high quality wooden wall paneling, a generally professional ambiance and a receptionist behind the desk.

''Can I help you?'' The male receptionist confusedly asked me as he got up. He looked a little too muscular to be a typical receptionist. It wouldn't surprise me if Dakota picked him only for his handsomeness.

''Yeah, I have an appointment with Dakota. The name's Topher Fontaine.'' I explained. He searched on his computer while I peeked through the blinds of the single office (Which looked about the same as the reception area) and saw Dakota sitting at her desk in a high leather chair opening a bottle of wine.

''I can't find your appointment sir.'' The receptionist told me, startling me a little as I completely forgot about him for a second.

''That's probably because we made an appointment over the phone a few minutes back.'' I explained while I approached the door. ''If you ask her then she can-'' I tried to suggest before I was cut off by the receptionist standing up.

''That's what they all say, without a documented appointment, you're not welcome here!'' He pervasively told me. I got a little fed up with him. What's the problem of this stubborn, pedantic idiot? I glared at him for a second before I boldly swung open the door into Dakota's office.

''Hey pal, didn't you hear me?!'' The receptionist called after me as I stomped into Dakota's office, which surprised her a little. Her receptionist firmly grabbed my upper arm before I could do anything else. And suddenly I understood why Dakota chose him as her receptionist, because there are many more people who enter her office like this. I rubbed the part where the bouncer/receptionist grabbed me as I looked a little expectantly at Dakota.

''Can you tell your bouncer that we do have an appointment?'' I requested Dakota, who didn't hesitate to react.

''Malone, it's okay.'' Dakota assured her employee, who let me go in response. ''Now give us some privacy.'' She calmly demanded, after which he glared at me and grunted before he left us alone.

''Sit down.'' She told me, pointing to a smaller leather chair with her pen. I did what she ordered me and looked around her office, noticing that it was just as high-class as the other half of her business, and I chuckled briefly.

''Did your daddy pay for all this?'' I asked her a little humored. From what I knew about Dakota was that she was a real daddy's girl, always relying on him.

''No, I paid for it by myself!'' She answered dead seriously, which surprised me a little.

''But why? Didn't daddy want to pay it in advance?''

''No, because my 19th-something stepmother managed to get me out of favor with daddy, and out of his will too, so I had to do it alone.'' She bitterly explained, tightly clenching 1 of her hands into a fist.

''Okay.'' I replied a little awkwardly, because I didn't know how to reply otherwise. ''So, why did you want me to come?'' I asked her soon after to lighten the mood while I leaned back into the chair.

''To propose a business offer to you.'' Dakota replied, sitting down in her chair and leaning towards me. ''I'll represent you as your agent, I negotiate your payments and terms with possible employers and I advise you on the do's and don'ts of stardom.'' Dakota professionally explained.

''For what price?'' I suspiciously asked. I've been long enough in this town to know that not everything is as good as it sounds.

''For the respectable margin of 15 percent per paid gig.'' Dakota answered. She obviously tried to make it sound as if it wasn't that much, and I co

''15 percent? You expect me to agree on that when you didn't even show me a fountain?'' I humouredly asked. [1]

''I have almost no expertise in the TV world, which means that I have to get the hang of it, establish contacts and much more, in other words, lots of work! I'm going easy on you with a low percentage as this!'' She assured me as she paced around the room. Okay, she got me there. She's a little expensive but I do believe that she's good in what she does. But maybe, just maybe I should try to push her a little.

''You know, that you called me while I was supposed to call you was probably a desperate measure, seeing how you practically turned me down, saying that I didn't have any talent while I did do a serious commercial gig! I bet there are tons of people out there who'd like to be my agent for a lower cut to-''

''Don't pull that crap on me fish!'' Dakota sternly interrupted, standing up slightly and pointing her finger at me. She apparently has something with fish. ''I called you to snatch you away before other agents would've found you.'' She calmly continued as she began to twirl a pen around in her fingers.

''So I do have talent!'' I confirmed, shooting a smug smile at her.

''Maybe so, but it wasn't the first time that some lowlife from Los Pollos Hermanas begged me for my service.'' Dakota shrugged off. ''By the way, do you still work there?'' She asked me a little disgusted.

''No, why?'' I confusedly responded before Dakota pulled me off my chair and began to examine me.

''The zits, the amount of fat, a considerably flabby butt.'' She summed up as she checked, poked, stretched and pinched several parts of my body, which made me feel a little uncomfortable and not just because she listed all the imperfections I'm currently having, but also because she felt around pretty private areas. ''You look like my ex! Months ago you were still a handsome fella, How'd you manage to do that in such a short time?!'' She incredulously asked, placing her hands on my hips.

''If you often eat something that isn't meant to be eaten often, stuff happens.'' I groaned miserably before we both sat down in our seats in silence. Dakota opened a drawer and slammed a contract down on the desk.

''Well, if you hire me as your agent, I include services like hooking you up with top fitness trainers!'' She vividly offered. ''Which you really need right now.''

''Thanks.'' I morosely thanked her as I sat down again and picked the contract up to read it.

''Is it an exclusive contract?'' I professionally asked her.

''Yes. Only I can get you work. But you can suggest me things and I'll see what I can do.'' She explained while I kept reading. I've seen contracts like this before and so far I've read it, it seemed more than okay. Even though I cannot terminate the contract myself for the 2 years it runs, she offers me all kinds of benefits (Like the fitness instructor) and she's the only good agent I know, so I simply don't need a escape clause. I signed the contract and gave it back. Dakota signed it as well and put it back in the drawer she retrieved it from.

''Good, now that's settled, client!'' Dakota eagerly announced, stretching her hand out to me, I took it that she wanted me to shake her hand, so I did. ''Do you have the time right now to have our first appointment?''

''A more important question is: Do you have time? I could get here the moment you called me, so I'm good on that department.''

''My agenda is empty for today, I only have to attend a movie première tonight, but our meeting shouldn't take THAT long!'' Dakota laconically guessed as she opened a bottle of wine and filled 2 glasses. I noticed the punctuation she put on 1 word.

''What should take so long then?'' I confusedly asked her.

''We are going to discuss your strategy, duh! Without it, you're not going to get anywhere beyond the ads for Ufone!'' She answered like I was stupid. Not entirely wrong, because we obviously need some sort of strategy. Dakota filled a glass with the same wine she opened a bit earlier. ''You want some too?'' She offered.

''Kindly.'' I replied before she filled another glass and handed it to me.

''First things first. Who are you and where are you from?''

''I'm Topher Fontaine, from Osoyoos British Columbia.'' I answered before taking a sip. The wine was tasty. Dakota has good tastes.

''Is it a rural town?''

''Pretty much.''

''Okay. Make sure that you get rid of the 'Bash the queer!' small-town image it brings with you.''

''Osoyoos is rural, but in no way that rural.'' I pointed out, putting the wine glass on the desk to point at her. I noticed that I got pretty defensive.

''People judge you, and if they know that you're from a small town like that, they'll just assume you have that image, and that's not going to make you popular on national TV.'' Dakota dismissively replied. ''Try to develop a liberal vibe for when your opinion begins to matter.'' She advised.

''How?''

''Easy, look fashionable and fit, occasionally haunt a Bean Counter, agree that political change is always good and act a little lenient to borderline illegal stuff. But don't act entitled or smug, because then you'll overdo it and that's even worse than the redneck image'' She explained.

I never really cared about politics. My mom does a lot though (Even if I have a feeling that she doesn't understand much of it) and if we ever had to vote, I voted on who my mom wanted to win. So if I have to become liberal, so be it.

''Aha.'' I agreeably nodded.

''Up next we discuss your work. What is your goal?'' Dakota quickly moved on.

''To have my own big-time live show! Like Clay Lennon. Interviewing famous guests, ripping on people who have written terrible books and so much more!'' I ambitiously explained. [2]

''Aha. But to get there, you need to steadily building up your name and reputation. To begin with the most recent gig...The Ufone ads.'' Dakota formulated as she typed something on her computer.

''Okay.''

''The internet is bursting with reactions to your commercial! Here, see for yourself!'' Dakota told me before she turned the screen towards me, showing all kinds of shots from the commercial captioned with some text. The most of them seemed to use the opening catchphrase in another form.

''These are memes?'' I confusedly asked. I really don't know what they are, I never browse the internet for stuff like this.

''Yes, and while the internet doesn't account for everyone in this country, not even now in 2026, it's safe to assume that the commercial has gotten pretty popular and well-known, especially because of that catchphrase.''

''I improvised that catchphrase!'' I proudly said as I leaned back and smugly smiled.

''Really?'' Dakota responded while she looked like she was pondering. ''How good are you at improvising?''

''I'd say pretty good. Why?'' I humbly replied while checking my nails.

''Maybe I can hook you up with a TV show I heard about. You might skip a few steps to the top that way, but I'm not promising anything!'' Dakota announced.

''If you could do that darl, I'd be very grateful!'' I suavely told her.

''Save it fish!'' She coldly shot me down. ''But anyway, where were we? Oh yeah,'' She remembered before she picked a business card up from her desk. ''The catchphrase makes it easily exploitable without declining in popularity much, and Ufone probably wants to profit from this by making more commercials with this setting. If they call you for a role, let them call me. I'll get you a good deal!'' She promised as she reached the card out to me.

''I got paid a lot already, and that means you can get us even more?'' I asked as I accepted the card. If so, that means that I can consider moving into a bigger apartment soon! That reminds me of having to ask something else.

''Yes. But enjoy it while you can, because once you're big enough, you can't just go back to doing a commercial for some easy money!'' She cautioned me.

''Why not?''

''Doing a commercial or something alike from time to time isn't so bad, but if you take many gigs on the side if you're a big fella, you might get a reputation of being cheap, stingy or an attention monger. And that's bad news.'' Dakota sternly explained while she pointed her pen at me again.

''How could attention be bad? Exposure is good right?''

''Yeah, but you need to keep a certain amount of exclusivity. Put it like this, if you only appear on a late night show and you're popular, people will like watching you and begin to associate you with it. But if you appear in commercials too, viewers get bored of you or, like I said, find you cheap or begin to link you to bad commercials, and that's bad! Especially if the commercial's badly directed or just annoying! Also, don't hunt for attention. Once you're famous enough, you won't need to hunt for it anymore.'' She advised me. I always thought that show business was all exposure, but it turns out you have to control that too. I thought about it, and then I suddenly realized how I could make someone who helped me in the past even more helpful.

''What about relationships?'' I asked before taking another sip of this fine wine.

''Relationships hardly go hand in hand with fame. Once you're famous enough and get a girlfriend, people are quick to consider that she's there just for show and for your fame. But on the other hand, if you don't have a girlfriend, people might begin to speculate that you're gay. Now that's not much of a problem in Canada, but it can be kind of awkward.'' Dakota answered.

''But what if I get a girlfriend before I become well-known?'' I suggested.

Dakota cocked her head slightly as she thought about it for a second. ''That could work. It seems realer and you become a little more interesting for the paparazzi.''

''Isn't that a bad thing?'' I concernedly asked her, raising an eyebrow.

''Of course not! If you're lucky in these times, the paparazzi pay you to get fine shots!''

''Really? Why?'' I asked completely baffled, almost choking on a gulp of wine.

''If the tabloids get photos of you when your popularity is skyrocketing, the tabloids sell more. So it's not uncommon, for my clients at least, to get these kind of offers.''

''Okay.'' I surprisedly replied. In my mind, paparazzi were bad news. But as it turns out, they aren't always. I feel like I still have a lot to learn about how fame works. It's very surprising to hear about that, the paparazzi paying you to take shots. Thinking of money, I have another question for Dakota.

''Now that I think of it, what about money and my material wealth?''

''What do you mean with material wealth?'' Dakota confusedly asked me.

''I mean that I currently don't have a car and live in a small, pretty rundown apartment. Will that damage the progression of my career?'' I asked. ''Like, should I buy a bigger house and a spiffy car once I've climbed up on the ladder and the money starts floating in?''

''About the car: It's really up to you, if you don't take a car, that benefits your liberal image. But it won't hurt it either if you do buy 1. And about the house, sure, you have to move out of that shabby place someday. But soon, you'll have enough money to do so! Once you've done that, like the car, it doesn't really matter where you live anymore, as long as it has at least some class!'' Dakota explained before taking another sip of wine.

''I have to warn you about the cheddar though, don't obnoxiously flaunt your wealth or buy super decadent stuff! It will hurt your image! You got it?'' She penetratingly warned me.

''I got it I got it!'' I meekly told her as I have to admit that I was a tiny bit intimidated. ''Was that everything we needed to talk about?''

''Right now, yes.'' Dakota answered, after which I slammed down the wine in 1 gulp and put the glass back on the desk. ''I'll go after that fitness trainer for you and if there's something, you have my number.''

''Got it.'' I called as I approached the door. Yeah, and you have mine.

''And about the fountain,'' She called after me before I would've left the office. ''I'm making 1 myself out of marble and it's almost done. You'll be surprised!'' She proudly assured me. I glared confusedly at her, I had to bring up what she was talking about, as I completely forgot about that fountain.

''Alright.'' I replied before I closed the door. I glared at Dakota's receptionist before I left the office and approached the elevator. That was an eye-opener of a meeting. Show business doesn't always work the way I think it does. At least I've got a good manager in Dakota and a solid MO! Now I have to think of a certain approach for my own plan as well.

I walked out of the elevator and began to dial a certain number, Samey's number. I have a feeling that Samey is crushing big time on me, and that suits me.

Couples consisting of former Total Drama contestants remain popular, even if the show has been long gone. So if me and Samey become a couple, then I'll be more popular, which aides my way to the top. And as long as Samey believes I really like her, no one will suspect a thing that I'm just faking it.

''Hello?'' Samey responded after she picked the phone up.

''Sam!'' I warmly greeted her, stretching my free arm out in order to make myself more believable to myself.

''Topher! What a surprise! How did you get my number?'' She asked.

''You accidentally wrote down your phone number when we met.'' I explained to her as I left the Sultan Building.

''Oh, I'm such a ditz at times!'' Samey humouredly replied. ''But why are you calling?''

''I've just come from an appointment with my agent!'' I told her, putting a cheery emphasis on the last word.

''Look at that!'' She surprisedly replied.

''And when the meeting was over, I thought: I would've come this far without Sammy and I never even decently paid her back!''

''You don't have to silly! I-'' She humbly tried to shrug off. I growled quietly. Why is she so humble?

''I insist!'' I interrupted her, sounding passive aggressive. ''Do you remember that?'' I jokingly said after, which made Samey laugh a little.

''Okay then, I guess that's fair!''

''What about dinner?'' I suggested.

''Sounds good! We could go to a Los Pollos!'' She enthusiastically suggested.

''No!'' I barked, I hoped she was joking. Not only because I can't stand that place, but also because I hope that she has more class than that!

''I was only kidding!'' She assured me after a fit of giggles.

''Do you have any preferences? Indonesian, or Italian or such?'' I asked her.

''Anything but an Italian restaurant!'' She friendly yet quickly denied. ''I've eaten so much Italian meals as a child that I've grown to despise them a little.'' She explained.

''Okay, not Italian. Any other requests?'' I asked.

''Yeah, nothing too fancy or formal please! I don't like that very much!''

''Nothing to fancy, got it!'' I stated when I saw a certain restaurant. I approached it and found out on the menu that they served Acadian dishes. I'm not sure where Acadians come from or what those dishes consist of, but it looked alright.

''Hey, I'm standing in front of this place called Chez Julien.''

''French?'' Samey guessed, practically cutting me off.

''No, Acadian, some sort of French-Canadian culture.'' I answered after having read the menu card, which gave me the information I needed. ''Maybe we can go to this place?''

''Sure, sounds good!'' Samey agreed.

''Okay then, are you available tonight?''

''I can't tonight, but I can tomorrow!'' Samey offered.

''I have nothing to do at the moment, so that's cool with me!''

''Shall I be at your place around 6 PM?'' She offered. I wanted to reply, but instead I frowned as I remembered that I didn't have a car anymore, so I couldn't pick her up.

''Yeah, that's okay!''

''Great! Then we have a date! Or-'' Samey chirped before she flinched back a little. ''Or have a deal!'' She stuttered.

''What's wrong?'' I confusedly asked her.

''No, it's nothing!'' She stuttered. ''See you tomorrow!''

''You too!'' I greeted before I hung up and pocketed my cell phone. I got a little worried, does Samey think of this as a date or not? What if she doesn't and only consider this a get-together between friends? That way, my whole plan falls apart! I walked into the restaurant to reserve our seats as I thought of a plan, then I realized something.

If I remember it right, then Max was working on some pills that influenced behavior. So maybe he has something that will make Samey fall in love with me too! I just have to sneak it into her food and presto!

* * *

When I returned home I went straight to Max's apartment. As far as I knew, Max didn't have much to do, so he should be home.

''Yo Max, you in there?'' I called while knocking on his door.

''What do you want underling?'' Max asked after he opened the door.

''Cut it out with that underling thing, you're 28.'' I told him as I walked into his apartment, which looked pretty tidy if you think that all kinds of electronics were spread across his room. ''Anyway, I would like to get something from you!'' I requested as I leant against a kitchen counter.

''What is it this time? My toilet cleaner again?'' Max asked. I think he sounded a little annoyed, but that's how he usually sounds. That aside, he probably feels like he has the right to be annoyed, but only because I often borrow stuff from him. But isn't that what neighbors do?

''No, you said when I came here that you were making drugs that could change people's behavior right?'' I asked him.

''Ah yes!'' Max proudly replied before he went to his chemistry set, snickering all the way until he opened a certain box and showed me a bunch of pills. ''

''And is there 1 too that can make someone fall in love with you? I'm going on a date tomorrow and I feel a little nervous.'' I informed him before a brief shudder.

''Yes!'' He loudly answered, boastfully holding up 1 of the pills. ''At least I think it does, I haven't tested them properly yet!'' He meekly admitted as he slumped over again a little.

''I'll test it for you.'' I offered, acting like I was being goodhearted.

''Hold on!'' Max called, holding the pill away from me right before I was going to take it.

''What?'' I asked a little ticked off after a few seconds of silence.

''250 dollars please!'' Max demanded, holding his open handpalm out to me.

''250 dollars for an untested drug? You got to be kidding me Max!'' I disdainfully protested.

''But you're desperately in need of it!'' Max sneakily pointed out. Sure I need it, but to say that I'm desperate is a bit too much. I pulled my wallet out of my pocket anyhow, because I didn't want to take no risk.

''You're evil, you know that?'' I told him as I handed him the cash.

''I know!'' Max delightfully replied, snickering as he counted the money, after which he gave me the pill. ''Pleasure doing business with you!'' He pleasantly told me.

''So, do I swallow this thing whole or…'' I asked.

''That's a possibility, you can also crush it and take it in powder form!'' Max told me. Excellent, that way I can sneak it into Samey's food.

''Thanks bro, I'll see you around.'' I greeted Max before i left his apartment.

''Possible side effect-'' Max tried to say, but I didn't want to listen at him anymore after he blackmailed me, so I just swung the door shut and went back to my own apartment.

* * *

The next evening, I was primping myself up a little more as 6 PM was minutes away. I wore a maroon, short sleeved button shirt, the fanciest pair of jeans I could buy and I finished it by wrapping a scarf around my neck. I examined my face in the mirror as I noticed that most of my zits had gone. There were still some, but those were not in my face.

Then I could hear a car horn honking from close by and I assumed that it was Samey, I put my coat on, made sure I had everything with me, and left my house.

''Hey Sam!'' I greeted her after I had stepped into her car and shut the door. Samey wore an outfit not much different from what she wore when I came across her in the Bean Counter, she only had switched the striped shirt for a slightly more formal button shirt.

''Hi!'' She quietly chirped as I inserted the address of the restaurant on her navigation system and she began driving to the place.

* * *

When we entered the restaurant 15 minutes after arriving at it (Parking is such a hell in downtown Toronto), we walked up to the host and he seated us at a table. So far, it seemed like a perfect ambiance. Swell but not gooey music, a comfy interior and no crying children! Time to get this thing going, I only need a moment to spike her food with the drug, I already crumbled the pill and had put into a small plastic bag which I had put in my pocket.

It remained silent between us as the waiter came by and handed us the full menus.

''I think I take the Tourtiere, chicken fricot and a red wine.'' I told the waiter. I don't know what it was, but it sounds good.

''I'd like a lobster roll, a dried cod fishcake and mineral water please.'' Samey requested. ''I suggest that I'll be the designated driver.'' She told me after the waiter had left. Was it just me or did she say that a little smug?

''It's your car, so it's fine with me.'' I agreed. It remained silent between us for a moment after that as we both checked out the restaurant. ''So, how's you? It's been a lot of years, and even then I never got to really speak with you.'' I eventually asked her to break the silence.

''Great actually. Yet nothing truly special happened these past 12 years. I graduated in psychology, I've got my own practice now, and Amy and I managed to make amends, sort of. '' Samey explained.

''Wow, really?'' I surprisedly replied, faking my surprise a little.

''Well, not really. She's still the same gruff, aggressive girl you got her to know as on TV. But in these years, she's begun to tolerate me. That began when I moved out to college while Amy went to the academy.''

''Did Amy get into art academy? That doesn't sound like her!'' I remarked, raising my eyebrow a bit out of suspicion.

''Not art academy, police academy!'' Samey pointed out after a short chuckle.

''That sounds like her alright, I guess.'' I corrected myself.

''She became the top of the class and is currently a member of the assault squad in Toronto. I think that the aggressiveness appealed to her.'' Samey pondered.

''At least she's got a job she's cut out for.'' I numbly noted, hoping to end this conversation.

''That's what I and the rest of the family thought too, but then it turned out that Amy does have 1 weakness.'' She continued.

''And that is?''

''Killing people.''

''How so? She had no problems making you fall to your death.'' I asked a bit curious.

''Back the,n she probably hadn't realized what for consequences killing can have. She had killed a few people out of self-defence, and that haunted her for some time. And that's when she opened up to me.''

''Should you be telling me this? Isn't there some oath of confidentiality you psychologists have?'' I concernedly cut her off in another attempt to end this conversation.

Does this girl ever stop talking about herself? Oh wait a minute, she isn't even talking about herself, she's talking about her sister. Luckily, a waiter brought our food, so I could take my mind off of Samey for a second and enjoy this Tourtiere thing while Samey took a bite out of her lobster roll. My thing apparently was some sort of meat pie, and it tasted pretty well. The fricot looked like chicken soup.

''Well, She's very open about it. She tattoos a skull on her hip for every kill she has made, something she has only revealed to me.''

''It's not a secret anymore once she wears a bikini on family day.'' I remarked slightly sarcastic.

''Oh, our family is pretty strict, they don't let us wear them.''

''I find that hard to believe, because I still see you walking around in that cheerleader outfit.'' I told her, subtly flirting with her. She smiled at me, but in a way that told me that she was slightly confused, not the result I hoped to achieve.

''That was a school outfit. If it was for me, I would've worn something I liked better. But you know, Amy.'' She said, rolling her eyes in an annoyed fashion, but she kept smiling. ''Enough about me, how are you?''

''There's not much I can tell you that I haven't told you yet. I spent at least 10 years working at OCRBC, the regional channel until I got fired and decided to leave the desert to collect dust and head down to Toronto.'' I recalled, chuckling a little at my own joke.

''I've been wondering, what's it like to live in the desert?'' She curiously asked, leaning a little closer towards me.

''Quiet, too quiet for me at times.'' I answered before taking another bite of my meat pie.

''Do you hear crickets in the evening? I always found that to be so, tranquil you know?''

''Yep, there're there. Not that crickets are the best thing to fall asleep to, but it sure beats the sounds of a busy avenue!'' I lively explained as Samey slumped over in her seat and supported her head with her arm. ''Are you alright?'' I asked her. I sure hope she doesn't find my

''I don't know, but my stomach is acting funny.'' She said before she experience what looked like a cramp to me. ''No, it's not just acting funny. It's upset.'' She corrected herself.

''Is the lobster spoiled?'' I concernedly asked her.

''No, I think I'm-'' Samey tried to tell me before she grunted while clenching 1 hand to her stomach and 1 to her butt. She looked around the restaurant and she stormed towards the bathroom right after.

Well, so far this date is disastrous, Samey is pretty boring, she doesn't stop talking about herself and others and now she's in the bathroom for who knows how long. But the worst part is that Samey probably doesn't consider it a date, but why? I saw her looking at my appearance and acts all giddy when I'm around her. But now that I can add the drug to her food, that shouldn't be much of a problem anymore. I looked around, and when no one seemed to pay attention to me (Sneaking stuff in other people's food has a bad reputation), I strew the drug on Samey's fishcake.

She could be sitting there for some time, so I'll just take another sip from this tasty wine.

* * *

I had finished my food when Samey came limping out of the bathroom no less than 45 minutes later, holding her stomach.

''Hey, can you get the car?'' She asked, offering me the keys as she sat down. ''I've had something of an accident and-''

''TMI.'' I interrupted her.

''Yeah right.'' She agreed before she changed topics. ''Anyway, could you drive me home? I'm not feeling very good.'' She requested.

''Is the lobster spoiled or something?'' I replied, getting a little angry as I picked the lobster roll up.

''No, don't make a scene!'' She calmly urged me, after which I laid the roll down. ''I think it's because I am allergic to shellfish. I once ate a few shrimps and that made me feel a little queasy too, but I thought that that was just the shrimp and not me.'' She quietly explained, pausing a few times to groan and hold onto her stomach.

''Okay then, I'll be up front in a few minutes after I've paid. Have some water and go to the street at your comfortable pace Sammy?''

''I will, thanks!'' She replied before I smiled at her and walked towards the cash register, during which I growled sourly. Did I spend so much money on food when she wasn't going to finish it? Which means that she didn't take the pill and fell in love with me. This whole operation had failed!

* * *

Half an hour later, I was driving in Samey's car over the highway to bring her home. She was living in a city 60 kilometers away from Toronto, so once I dropped her off, I still had to get back home. This was going to be a long night.

''Listen, I'm really sorry for all of this! If I knew for sure that I was allergic to shellfish, then we would've went to another place-'' She worriedly apologized after a long silence between us which I mostly spent grumbling quietly.

''Don't knock yourself out over it Sam.'' I assured her, laying a comforting hand on her shoulder. ''You didn't know it. The end. We'll do this date over-''

''Date? This was a date?'' She confusedly asked me, cutting me off.

So I was right on that one, Samey didn't even think this was a date.

''Yeah. What did you think?''

''Well, you said that it was just dinner to thank me. So I didn't search anything behind

''And what about all my subtle flirting?''

''I found it a little odd.'' She stated.

''Odd? Why?'' I replied pretty incredulous.

''Because I...'' She paused to look away a little embarrassed. ''...I thought that you were gay.'' She sheepishly admitted.

She's not the only one. Back in Osoyoos, everything thought so as well. Thank anything that that place isn't as backwards as Dakota thought it was.

''Ouch.'' I grumbled.

''I know! I'm sorry!'' She playfully apologized. ''But you always had these feminine things ever since I met you! I mean, what guy cares about antioxidants and worries that much about how his hair looks?''

''I do!'' I defensively replied as we approached the turn for Hamilton, which Samey's navigation led me to.

''That's okay! I like that!'' She calmly soothed me. ''And I also couldn't stop fawning over that body of yours!''

''You mean the body I don't have right now.'' I wryly replied.

''I bet you're probably working on that right now.'' She predicted with a knowing smirk.

''I'm about to.'' I told her, after which we fell silent again as I drove through the city.

So Samey does crush on me, but she thought I was gay. Maybe I can still get my plan to work.

''So you thought that I was gay, but you did find me hot?'' I eventually asked, a little puzzled

''A girl can fantasize can't she?'' She dreamily replied before we arrived at a pretty classy apartment building of about 8 stories high outside the centre.

''This is where you live?'' I asked Samey as I stopped in front of and looked up to the top.

''Yes. The idea of living alone in a big house is a little unsettling to me.'' She explained as she unbuckled her seatbelt.

''Living in a cramped home like mine isn't everything either, let me tell you that!'' I assured her. She smiled and wanted to leave the car, but I grabbed her arm before she could do so. ''Sam, don't worry about tonight. If it's okay with you, we can do this over again later.'' I warmly suggested.

''Yeah, I'd like to have another 'date'.'' She replied just as warm before a short giggle. ''If you have a good idea for a date, call me.''

''I will.'' I suavely promised her. ''Now that that's settled, you can get yourself a clean pair of pants!'' I jokingly dismissed her, after which she stomped my arm, although with a smile. She stepped out of the car, checked what I think was her mailbox and entered the building, after which I drove off.

Sure, it may've cost me 250 dollars for meds I didn't even need and another 45 dollars for the food, but it worked! Samey warms up to me and is ripe to be taken! I have to figure out a way to balance my masculinity and my femininity to make me irresistible to Samey. Things are looking better than ever. But then I realized that I was about to hit the highway back to Toronto... in Samey's car. I turned around to drive it back to her apartment while I dialed a taxi to pick me up.

* * *

**Hm, I'm not very good in writing this kind of date stories!**

**[1] This fountain remark is referencing the South Park episode 'Wing', where the boys (Acting as talent agents) try to coax someone into becoming their client for 10 percent of his earnings. And as part of their strategy, they show him their fountain.**

**[2] A nod to the 'Books Not To Read' section of The Tonight Show.**

**Let me point out a few things for when they become a couple: It will be a major plot point, but it won't be discussed every chapter. And Topher will have some feelings for Samey as well despite this chapter implying otherwise. **

**That's all. Stay tuned for the next chapter! Even if that may take a long time!**

**:D,**

**L.W.**


	6. Multitasking

**To The Toph**

**Applauze (You've settled for another name I see): Yet, he still hasn't at this point, I hope he knows what he might be missing out on.**

**The Abysswalker: With that coming from you, it's no big surprise! You seem to be a big fan of him don't you?**

**I'm not even putting the rating down anymore, you should know it by now. If it changes, you'll hear it!**

**That's it for now. Go read it!**

* * *

**Chapter 6: Multitasking**

* * *

Some days later, 1 was riding the elevator up to the 17th floor of the Sultan building. Dakota had summoned me but she didn't say for what. She sounded excited, though Dakota always sounds excited. It couldn't be about the Ufone deal, Dakota settled that yesterday. I'll do some more commercials for them (With slogans like 'From golf course, to crash course.' Or 'From stock market, to supermarket') for an even higher payment. So I began looking for a better apartment yesterday!

I entered Dakota's office and immediately noticed the small fountain standing in her lobby. It was made of pinkish marble and it looked abstract. I don't know if that was her intent, but I liked it nonetheless.

I approached Dakota's office as Malone didn't try to stop me this time, he did glare at me though, and I peeked through the window. I saw Dakota talking to someone. I couldn't see very much because the figure had his back turned to me while sitting in his chair. I shrugged and entered the office.

''Topher! Sit down!'' Dakota heartily told me as I walked towards the other, unoccupied chair in her office. The other person turned to face me, and I recognized him as Noah from Total Drama Island. He didn't change much except for that he wore a flashy dark turquoise suit with a red button shirt underneath, and got a little fatter. I stopped walking briefly and raised a eyebrow in confusion, what was he doing here?

''Wha-''

''Topher, this is Noah Dasari.'' Dakota cut me off as I sat down.

''Hey.'' Noah greeted while he lazily smiled at me, something he was somewhat famous for.

''Like you and me, Noah has history on Total Drama. But that doesn't matter right now. What does matter is that Noah is going to be the host of a comedy show, and after some convincing, managed to make him propose an offer to you!'' Dakota smoothly explained.

''Why would you out of all people host a TV show? Weren't you qualified enough to go to college and become some sort of doctor? You know, something that'd actually make your parents proud?'' I jokingly added, nodding my head a little and crossing my arms.

''I have 7 older siblings. By the time I was allowed to go to college, my parents had spent all their savings because of all those freeloaders running out of it. So I had to get it myself by making guest appearances on shows, movies and TV series. As it turned out, that was a pleasant way of making money, so I sticked with it.'' Noah explained. He then crossed his arms and then chuckled a bit smugly. ''At least I didn't have to work at a strip club, or a Los Pollos.'' He pointed out a little humored, after which I glared at Dakota.

''You told him didn't you?'' I bitterly asked Dakota, she just rolled her eyes.

''It's called The Noah Show, an improve-''

''The Noah Show? Really?'' I asked unimpressed, cutting him off.

''We're still working on the title a little.'' He calmly excused. ''It's going to be an improv show meant to be mainly about satirically ridiculing present day events and acting out ridiculous situations, like the recent scandals and such, through several games.'' Noah explained to me. ''Additionally, every week we have a different celebrity guest who we'll mock every now and then and eventually let them join the comedians for a game.''

''A bit like The Toast?'' I guessed. [1]

''Yeah, but less toasting of the celebrity guest.'' Noah answered before he picked a dossier off of Dakota's desk and handed it to me. ''In here there's the full list of games we might play. If you want to be in this show, learn them thorough and come to the additional improv exercises. The address is in the file too.''

''What do I need extra exercise for?'' I indignantly asked as I leaned back and folded my arms behind my back. ''I'm pretty good as it is now!''

''Because I don't want any stammerers! They ruin the flow!'' Noah sternly replied.

''And you won't look very good on a show like that!'' Dakota added.

''After all, the cameras won't stop recording once they're on!''

''Is it live then?'' I curiously asked Noah.

''Not live, but we do it in 1 take!'' Noah answered. Even so, it's good practice for when I do begin to appear in live shows.

''Well okay, I'd like to follow that course, but I have little time! I have that gig with Ufone running, and I'm trying to hook up with-'' I tried to explain to both Noah and Dakota.

''That's show business Topher! You make time!'' She bitterly pointed out.

''I guess so.'' I humbly agreed. ''Fine, call me in!'' I told Noah as I shook his hand.

''All the data's in the file. Make sure that you show up on those practice nights! Otherwise the deal's off. I'll update both of you with any further details I come up with.'' Noah explained as he stood up and shook both mine and Dakota's hands.

''That's okay, thank you for your time!'' Dakota sweetly told Noah, almost as if to suck up to him. I just firmly nodded my head at Noah before he walked out of Dakota's office and disappeared from our sight, after which Dakota glared something that looked like daggers to me.

''Next time, could you try to be even a LITTLE more polite? The man gives you work and you treat him like ass!'' Dakota scolded me, lightly pounding a fist on her desk.

''Hey, he's kind of an ass, so 1 thing leads to another, am I right?'' I smugly pointed out.

''Yeah, but he's giving you work and can fire you just the same. The conclusion: He's ALLOWED to act like an ass, to some degree.'' Dakota concluded. ''Besides, you can't overact that on TV, people these days don't want to watch incredibly mean people. A harsh comeback is good, a bitter insult most often not!''

''And having a personality of your own is the best.'' I smugly replied while leaning back in the chair. Clay Lennon can burn anyone he wants, so why can't I when I have my own show?

Dakota didn't seem to be pleased very much by my reaction, as she sighed rather annoyed. ''Whatever. Just... Just make sure that you're not the one starting a dispute, okay?'' She urged me before she threw her hands up. ''What was there anymore I'd do for you?'' She asked.

''You'd hook me up with a fitness trainer.''

''You're right, I'll call her now.'' Dakota agreed before she picked up her phone and dialed a number, after which it remained silent in her office for a few seconds. ''Hey, Jojo!'' She pleasantly greeted the person on the other side, my eyes shot wide open as I had a suspicion of who she was talking to. ''Yeah, I got another one for you doll!'' She continued after having let the other person speak. ''Yeah, he's a mess! When do you have time?'' She asked, after which I shot her a disdained gesture, to which she responded by sticking up a hand to my face. ''You have time today?! What happened to the last guy I sent to you?'' She surprisedly asked. ''He quit? Why?'' Dakota wondered. ''Because he found that you were too rough on him? I cannot imagine why he'd say that!'' Dakota said, sounding completely dumbfounded, which was obviously an act.

I got pretty nervous. I'm better off not going to that fitness instructor! It might kill me!

''Hey, I don't think I need a-'' I cautiously tried to tell Dakota, but she shushed me by holding her hand up to my face.

''Yeah, I'll let him drop by this afternoon!'' Dakota happily promised. ''Love you, bye!'' She greeted just as happy before she hung up.

''You know, I just remembered that I have to recite my lines a little better for the first commercial! I can't do-'' I worriedly tried to tell Dakota.

''Recite them during your workout, I already made the appointment and Jo will kill you if you call off!'' Dakota calmly warned me.

So my suspicions were correct. Jo is the instructor. I've heard rumors that she always wanted to be a celebrity fitness instructor, but seeing as I never heard of her after Total Drama and Dakota sends me to her, she hasn't come that far as of late.

''I'm afraid she'll kill me if I show up as well!'' I shuddered while I stood up, it was already getting late and I still had to change into any workout clothes I had, so I had to hurry a little.

''Jo isn't so bad. Just keep your head on reciting your lines, it keeps your attention away from the brute Jo is implied to be and it's a good way to teach yourself to multitask!'' Dakota laconically advised as she accompanied to the door of her office.

''Yeah right.'' I grunted.

''Toodles!'' She cheerily greeted me, waving at me as I left.

I grunted once more as I approached the elevator. My schedule's getting pretty full. I need at least a full afternoon to practise my lines for the Ufone commercials, reserve several evenings to practise for the Noah Show and go to that gym. I wonder if there will ever be time left to court Samey.

* * *

Later that day, I was waiting in a gym at the edge of 1 of Toronto's affluent neighborhoods, Forrest Hill. I wore a grayish blue tracksuit with black accents and covered up my... currently somewhat larger body perfectly. No one has to know that I need a personal trainer to lose weight.

''Are you the slug Dakota told me to train?'' A gruff sounding voice called out to me from another end of the lobby. I turned my head and saw Jo stomp towards me, dressed in a black tank top and sweatpants.

''Uh yeah. I guess.'' I replied a little intimidated as Jo stopped right in front of me.

''Follow me, I've got us a private room.'' Jo ordered me, walking away as she gestured me to follow. ''I see you need a lot of work.'' Jo told me as we walked through the building.

''How do you see?'' I asked a little startled. I wore the thickest tracksuit I could find and buy! I plucked at my suit a little as I worried. How does she still see it?

''Because you're wearing a thick tracksuit to hide your body in. You must be really insecure about it!'' Jo noted as she stopped in front of an open door. ''And that makes me wonder, are you gay?'' She asked, sounding a little curious as well as if she was mocking me while blocking off my access into the room.

''What?'' I asked slightly annoyed, raising an eyebrow.

''I've got a lot of guys and at least they had the balls to embrace the body they were in! No matter how fat it was!'' She bitterly explained as we entered the room, which containing lots of workout gear, and wiped her hands on a rag laying on 1.

''I'm straighter than you!'' I answered pretty ticked off, but my balsy mood disappeared as quick as it came when Jo threateningly closed in on me. ''And I think It's not good for my budding career to be seen so out of shape and I'd rather be dead if someone revealed a picture of me ''

''Aha.'' Jo replied unimpressed, nodding her head and having her mouth agape in just the same way. ''Well, enough senseless chatter and more action!'' Jo announced as she threw the rag away before we walked over to a treadmill standing in the corner of the room.

''Let's start on the treadmill to get those leg muscles fired up!'' Jo said as I climbed onto it as Jo adjusted a few things. So far, I wonder why I ever worried about her, as Jo, aside from her slight aggression and

''15 minutes should do the trick! Go!'' Jo told me while activating the treadmill and I began running on a pleasant pace. At this point, I don't get it why that other guy found her so demanding. Sure she's a bit bad tempered, but there's nothing past that. Why did I ever worry about this?

''And time to crank it up!'' Jo suddenly announced as she turned up the speed and soon, I was running faster than I even thought I could run. I soon had to hold onto the handlebars to avoid falling, as it went too fast for me to stand on my feet.

''Come on you loser! Get on your feet or I'll swat your hands off of the handlebars!'' Jo viciously threatened as she wove a fist around.

''I can't get on my feet!'' I nervously replied as I tried to put my feet back on. ''It's going too fast!''

''Hey, you want to get in shape or what?'' She growled.

When the 15 minutes had finally passed, Jo deactivated the treadmill. I sweated like a pig as I stumbled off the treadmill and onto the floor.

''It's like you're reading my mind!'' Jo happily told me.

''You let me rest?'' I hopefully asked.

''As early as this? Of course not!'' Jo meanly answered. ''We've done your legs, now we're going to warm up those biceps!'' She revealed. 'Give me 50 push ups!'' She coldly demanded.

''That's more push ups than I did in my whole life!'' I pleaded as I began to do them. Afterwards, Jo pressed her foot down on my back. ''Uncle!'' I squeaked.

''49 to go.'' She brutishly reminded me, grinning as if she enjoyed it while keeping her foot firmly on my back as I tried to do more.

''This is unbearable, you crazy woman! What's your problem?!'' I groaned while I wonderfully managed to do a few more push ups. After I asked that, I creaked as Jo pressed down on my back even harder.

''I don't have any problems! I'm 31 and my husband is abroad fighting wars! I'm not lonely, I'm enjoying my time alone! If I ever feel alone, I can always turn to my the lazy clients I have to train because am a successful personal trainer! Sure it isn't what I wish to be, but I can deal with that!'' Jo frantically replied as I kept trying to do push ups.

* * *

1 hard hour later, I stumbled out of the gym. Jo's roughness didn't stick just to the beginning and she made me work out to death, I surely feel like it at least! With her aggressiveness, I think I know why Jo isn't a big name, her training regimen is way too hard! And the abundance of emotion from her private matters in it doesn't make it better at all! I don't know if I can stand another session. I doubt anyhow if they really help, because I don't feel like I've lost much weight. Right now, I only feel my sore body.

I need another way to lose weight, but how? Dakota probably won't be happy that I'm dismissing Jo, and where can I find another instructor? They're not exactly cheap and even though I'm making good money with those commercials, I'm saving it for a better house or maybe even a car.

And then there's also the improv practises and Samey I need to hang around with somehow. I walked over to the bus stop opposite of the gym and sat down.

There had to be a way where I could combine some of these things. I could jog to the practises, but that was on the other side of town, and all the exhaust gasses probably won't do my health and fitness any good. Then I thought about taking Samey to the improv classes, but that was as a stupid and awkward as it sounded. For what reason can I bring her in there? I kept on thinking as a bus pulled over and I entered it.

Then, by putting some of those ideas together, I got it! I searched for my phone and began to put in Samey's number.

I can't take Samey to the classes, and it isn't wise to go jogging to those classes. But what if I went exercising with Samey as a date of sorts? Thinking as I was ready to call Samey, it sounds kind of stupid, but worth a shot. I held the phone against my ear and waited for her to pick up.

''Hello?'' Samey greeted after picking up.

''Hi Sam! Do I call at an inconvenient time?'' I politely asked her.

''Well, you're calling at a time that men usually don't want to be called.'' She cryptically replied. I raised my eyebrow, what did she mean with that?

''What?'' I confusedly responded.

''You're calling me while I'm watching a soccer match on TV!'' She grumbled. I hope she's not a fan of it and was watching it out of boredom.

''Oh my, I'm sorry!'' I hastily apologized. ''Should I call back later?''

''No, no, I'm only kidding!'' She calmed me down.

''I didn't get the joke.'' I sheepishly admitted.

''Because you guys are always portrayed as, you know! Woe the thing that comes between guys and the game they're following!'' Samey explained in-between quiet chuckles. After she was done explaining, there was a brief silence between us. ''Ha ha?'' Samey meekly broke the silence, as if she was begging for me to laugh a little.

Boy, that was so awkward, I can even feel Samey's cheeks burning with embarrassment right here. If she keeps that bad sense of humor, I might just think about wooing another girl because I can't stand the thought that she makes lame jokes like that all day, or even worse, in the company of other people!

''That was painful.'' Samey calmly admitted, sounding a little embarrassed. ''What did you call me for?'' She chirped, changing attitudes in mere seconds, which admittingly surprised me a little.

''I was thinking, and then I maybe got a swell idea for the 2 of us!''

''Tell me!'' She eagerly responded.

''What about a jogging date?'' I suggested.

''A jogging date?'' Samey repeated a little puzzled.

''Yeah! You know, running around. Talking to each other. Outside in this beautiful early spring. It isn't as bad once you think about it!'' I smoothly explained.

''Hmm, maybe it doesn't.'' Samey agreed. ''Except for 1 thing.'' She added.

''And that is?''

''You...'' She tried to say before she suddenly paused. ''Yeah! Goal! Go Azzura!'' She loudly cheered a small distance away from the phone, I held my ear away from my cell phone and I still could clearly hear her and so do other people on the bus, who eyed me a little disapproving.

''Sorry, I got caught up. What I meant to say was that you live 60 kilometers away from me silly! That distance is nearly 1 and a half marathon alone!'' She revealed to me.

''I can get warmed up in the train to there.'' I laconically suggested.

''Okay then!'' She eagerly accepted.

''Sweet! When do you have time? And do you have a fun place too maybe?'' I quickly asked her afterwards as I prepared to get off the bus.

''Well, I usually go jogging along the shore of Lake Ontario on Sunday mornings, so is that okay with you?'' She asked.

''That's cool!'' I chirped. Despite the cheerfulness, my face dropped a bit. She regularly jogs, I hardly ever jogged once in my life! If I go with her, I'll be down for the count in no time and risk making a fool out of myself!

''So I'll be at your home around 10 AM toots!'' I greeted as I stepped out of the bus and walked towards my apartment down the street.

''Toots...'' She giggled. ''...later Topher!'' She called back before she hung up just as I entered the apartment building.

I need something to discreetly enhance my stamina, or at least be able to give me a energy boost. I headed towards Max's apartment, because I thought he had something that could help me.

''Max? You there?'' I shouted as I banged on his door.

''What is it now minion?'' He grumbled (As far as he seriously could with that nasal voice) as he opened the door, having a facial mask on. Which made me laugh a little. ''Don't laugh! Hanging above those burners dries my face out!'' He defended.

''I know the feeling.'' I comforted him, although a bit mockingly as I patted his shoulder. ''But seriously, I'm going for a jog Sunday, and do you have something for me that improves my stamina?''

''Like steroids?''

''No, something a bit less potent! It should give me energy to get moving but not make me to aggressively work out!'' I explained as I leaned against his doorpost.

''Then take energy drink!'' Max snorted.

''I need it to be a little more discreet!''

''Even if I had concocted something like that, I'm not giving it without payment!'' Max denied, crossing his arms.

''What?! You made me pay 250 dollars for a drug that I didn't even get to use!'' I angrily told him.

''De Bruyne industries wavers all responsibilities not covered by the disclaimer after purchase!''

''But you didn't have a disclaimer for it!'' I protested, still angry.

''Exactly!'' He snickered.

''Up yours.'' I growled as I charged into his apartment. Hoping to retrieve something similar, I noticed that he hadn't any medicines laying around, while I could smell him producing them the past week.

''Where do you actually keep your homemade meds?'' I curiously asked Max, looking back at him and seeing that he was glaring back at me.

''I store them somewhere in a rented garage. Where you ask? I'll never tell!''

''I'll never ask either.'' I shrugged as I stomped back to my own apartment after I realized that there was nothing to be found for once at Max.

It seems like I'll be on my own for Sunday...

* * *

Sunday, I stood in front of Samey's apartment building, looking up to it before I walked over to the intercom and pressed it after finding her surname, DeSorrento.

''Hello?'' Samey's voice came from the intercom.

''It's me Sam!'' I replied back.

''I'm not ready yet, but come in!'' She offered before the door was unlocked, allowing me entry. She lived on the second highest floor of the building, and I needed my energy for later, so I took the elevator up.

Once there I noticed a door open on a chink, which I assumed to be Samey's. I entered and stepped into a small, but well furnished and modal apartment, which sported mostly white and cream colors. Though I didn't really like the oak panelling on the, the way this apartment looked appealed to me.

I noticed a shelf on the wall close to the door, and on that shelf stood a recent photo of a happy looking Samey and Amy (So at least I was in the right apartment). But what stood next to that photo startled me a little, as it was a gilded trophy shaped like a small handgun. The plate under it read that it was the first price trophy of a certain marksman contest. Well, now I know what Samey is capable of when she's pissed off at me.

What startled me even more was sudden barking coming out of another room and a rather small dog speeding at me while barking. Me not much a fan of dogs, I flinched back a little before it began to... hump my leg. I looked up and saw Samey appear from a bedroom, dressed in a blue cropped sport top and a brown sleek tracksuit.

''Is this your dog?'' I asked her a little embarrassed while I tried to get a glimpse of her bare belly, which looked pretty hot actually.

''Silvio! No!'' She scolded him. He didn't respond to her and she ended up yanking him off my leg. ''Sorry, he's kind of in a phase!'' She sheepishly apologized as she put her top on. [2]

''It's okay. We all are, I guess.'' I responded as I followed Silvio with my eyes until he walked onto a pillow on the ground. ''You ready to go jogging?'' I asked her as she put a bottle of water in 1 of her pockets.

''Yeah, you?'' She replied as we left her apartment.

''Of course I am! Why would I be here then?'' I cheerfully answered as she locked the door. I walked over to the elevator and pressed the button, after which she glared at me a bit confused.

''What are you doing?'' She confusedly asked.

''Hailing the elevator! What else?''

''Topher, we're going for a jog, and that means that we'll get warmed up by running down these stairs!'' She boldly declared, bearing a small grin as she pulled me towards the stairs just as the elevator doors opened.

''But I already warmed up in the train!'' I defended, which was a lie because the other passengers wouldn't let me, they said it made them nervous. I was fine either way.

''Come on you!'' She encouraged me as she literally flew down those stairs, leaving me to trail her as I, literally, almost had broken out in sweats already.

* * *

20 minutes later, we were running along the waterfront. It amazed me that I made it to here. The whole run I was trailing Samey, who tirelessly kept on running. If she didn't stop every now and then, then there wouldn't be a way for me to keep up with her.

''Are you still doing okay Topher?'' Samey asked a little concerned as she turned her head back at me.

''I'll live!'' I panted.

But for how long is the question? I feel parched. I forgot to take a bottle of water for myself with me! Samey offers me water every now and then, but I can't accept it. She needs to keep a perfect impression of me, so that means I can't come over to her as an lazy unfit and unprepared freeloader! I have to remain as charming as possible to her, even if it kills me!

''Say, I saw this trophy in your apartment.'' I said between exhausted panting while running up to her.

''That's a trophy I earned years ago!''

''I understand, but for shooting? I didn't take you as a girl who'd go to a shooting range!'' I told her a little amazed.

''I found out about it by pure chance actually! Amy is a cop, so she often goes to the shooting range. Once she invited me to go with her, and-''

''Amy invited you? Deliberately?'' I disbelievingly cut her off.

''Our relationship had already improved much more compared to the time on the show.'' She quickly pointed out. ''Anyway, shooting targets was fun and I felt like I was good in it! Then I heard about this contest. At first I didn't want to join, but when I heard that Amy had signed up, I couldn't help myself anymore!'' She reminisced, failing to see that I fell behind for a few seconds.

''Why?'' I asked, admittingly a little bit curious.

''Because I finally felt I could be better than Amy in something!'' She hopefully answered.

''But you just said that you and Amy had made amends.'' I countered a little puzzled.

''We had, but I never got the chance to feel better than her yet. So when I won and saw Amy holding the 2nd place trophy while I received the big one, I felt like a dream come true!''

''Amy must've been insufferable after that!'' I humouredly guessed.

''She was sour for a few days yes, but she coped well with it! She even congratulated me with my win!'' She laconically responded. ''So Topher, enough about my dreams, how's your big dream coming along?'' She curiously asked me as she slowed down to run beside me.

''Great actually! In a few weeks, I'll have my appearance in a TV show!'' I proudly informed her between my fatigued panting.

''That's great! What show?'' She squealed.

''It's a new improv show, that's all I can tell you right now.''

''Cool! You've thought of something funny yet?'' She asked as she began to run backwards in front of me.

''Nah, I have to follow evening practices for that.'' I pointed out before we came across a park bench. I sat down on it while Samey stretched her legs against a tree.

''Are you sure you don't want some water?'' Samey offered, holding the bottle out to me.

''No, I'm doing great!'' I resolutely denied. It apparently wasn't convincing enough as Samey shot me a knowing glare and a smirk.

''Are you sure? Because you lagged behind the entire jog so far.'' She doubtingly responded, but as she still got that smirk etched on her face, I could feel that the doubt wasn't genuine, as if she was on to me.

''Definitely!'' I replied nonetheless

''Then you won't mind if I drink it all myself?'' She innocently asked me before she began to drink it. As I was pretty thirsty, I eyed the bottle gradually lessening in content. ''Aha!'' She suddenly shouted while pointing at me.

''What?'' I defensively replied, holding my hands up.

''I knew it! You're actually dying of thirst!'' Samey accused me as she sat down beside me.

''Fine, I'll admit.'' I muttered in defeat. Now that she knows, there's no point in keeping up the charade.

''Here.'' Samey said as she handed me the bottle, out of which I took a big gulp. ''But why would you lie about it?'' She asked as she leaned back a little.

''Several reasons. I forgot to bring a bottle myself and I didn't want to feel like a freeloader. And besides that, I couldn't ask you after that important thing you did for me!'' I softly explained. Maybe I could use this moment to butter her up. It worked because she began to blush a little.

''Aw, you know that's okay silly! You don't have to parch yourself because you think you're in debt with me!'' She muttered pretty flattered as she pushed me away a little.

''If you say so.'' I responded before it went silent between us as I warmly smiled at her while she shyly smiled back until she stood up.

''You know why I love to jog here?'' She asked me while stretching next to the bench.

''Is it the nature?'' I lazily guessed.

''No, it's the view! I can endlessly look over the lake! It never bores me!'' Samey answered as she walked over to the other side of the path until she stopped right in front of the beach next to it. ''Just look! What an awesome view right?'' She asked me as she looked over the lake, which gave me a great view of Samey's butt, which was pretty nice to look at.

No, she might have her annoying quirks, but Samey is well represented in the looks department, which makes courting her a little more bearable.

''The view's even greater now!'' I cheekily agreed, obviously eyeing her butt as Samey turned her head towards me and took notice, giggling a little afterwards.

''Well Mr. Fontaine, I remember that you used to have a killer butt yourself too!'' She reminisced a little flirtatiously.

''But those are days long gone.'' I quietly lamented.

''1 reason to get going!'' She encouragingly replied as she pulled me off the bench. ''I mean, I'm fine the way you are, but if you really want to get in shape again, jogging alone isn't going to fully cut it.'' She explained as we resumed jogging. ''Go to the gym, lift some weights!'' She lividly advised.

''My agent already sent me to a gym, and even gave me a personal trainer! But that trainer was like a drill sergeant from hell! So I quit her after 1 session.''

''And that's why you wanted to jog with me? Because your personal trainer was a brute?'' Samey suspiciously asked.

''Yes, but it's not the whole story. With all the Ufone advertisements and the improv practises, I had little time left, and I won't have much time in the near future either with that TV show coming up. So by jogging with you, I could work out as well as be with you, sweet, confident good-looking you, for the time now that I still have it.'' I told her even sweeter than I meant to in attempt to completely charm her. It worked because Samey stopped running and eyed me warmly.

''Come here you!'' She mumbled as she pulled me into a hug. ''You just do that TV gig, I can wait!'' She assured me.

''But I can't.'' I admitted while smiling sweetly at Samey while I was still in her embrace.

''Oh, you're good!'' Samey purred before she lightly kissed me. We smiled at each other before we let go and continued running in silence.

I smiled. Dakota's advise to multitask has worked out greatly after all. I got to get in shape a little and make Samey warm up to me. Needless to say, this jogging date is a success!

* * *

**Hmm, this chapter didn't turn out the way I wanted. Especially the end feels... stupid.**

**[1] Referring to The Roast.**

**[2] Gee, I wonder to what former Italian prime minister and his reputed behavior I'm referring to...**

**Well, there you have it. Samey and Topher are pretty much a thing now. Not that any of you cared much, but it becomes important for storytelling purposes.**

**Next chapter feels like it's going to be a hard write, so don't get too excited for the next chapter, because it may take a while!**

**Other than that, I (Of course) hope you enjoyed this chapter nonetheless!**

**:D,**

**L.W.**


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